An Affair of the Heart
by JustOnePogostick
Summary: Jasper/Alice/Edward. Feelings for Alice re-surface and this time Edward doesn't want to bury them.
1. Mind Reader

**A/N: This is for those of you who read Turpentine Baptism and wanted the background story on Edward's feelings for Alice.**

**I'm experimenting with a past and present format. This first chapter takes place in the past.**

* * *

**AN AFFAIR OF THE HEART**

Mind Reader

Jasper sat at the foot of the bed with his book in hand and politely tried to ignore the sounds coming from Emmett and Rosalie's bedroom.

He was having a more difficult time ignoring the burning lust rushing down the hallway at him and, apparently, Emmett and Rosalie's activities were having an affect on Alice as well

because Jasper suddenly felt waves of desire washing over him from Alice. Jasper ground his teeth. He'd been reading the same passage over and over for the past five minutes.

"You could try reading something to take your mind off it," he told Alice.

Alice crawled toward Jasper and wrapped her arms around his chest.

"But I don't want to take my mind off it."

Her lips brushed against his ear and her breath tickled. Jasper closed his eyes and shivered.

Alice placed several open-mouthed kisses against his neck and tried to unbutton his shirt.

Jasper pushed her hands away. "Everyone will hear us," he whispered fiercely. There was simply no privacy in a house full of vampires.

God knew he had heard Emmett and Rosalie more times than he cared to count, and he and Alice had been living with the Cullens for less than a month.

And, although Carlisle and Esme were quieter and more discreet, he'd still felt and heard some of their intimate moments as well.

"Edward said everyone respects each other's privacy and tries not to listen," Alice said.

Edward.

The mind reader.

Jasper bared his teeth briefly at the mention of the boy's name.

He felt an uncertain uneasiness, bordering on jealousy, concerning Alice's fast friendship with Edward.

And why was Edward speaking of something so personal to his mate?

Jasper got off the bed and sat in the chair by the window and opened his book. "But they still hear," Jasper pointed out.

Alice sprang from the bed and sat on Jasper's lap, nuzzling his neck. "I didn't realize you were such a prude, Mr. Whitlock."

Jasper gave Alice a flat stare. He was anything but a prude. He'd fornicated with countless newborns, the occasional human, and even the devil herself,

but he'd be damned before he would allow that mind-reader listen to him make love to Alice.

"I need some air." Jasper gently pushed Alice from his lap and quickly left the house.

* * *

Once outside, Jasper picked up on Edward's scent. He followed it.

It was time to put the boy in his place.

Jasper made no effort to conceal his approach, but Edward's stance was wary when he caught up to him.

Good.

He wanted him to feel a little afraid.

Edward's mouth twitched into a fleeting smirk and he stood up straight. "Good evening, Jasper."

Why was the boy amused? "Evening, Edward."

Edward watched him, expectant, but when Jasper said nothing more, Edward said, "Was there something that you wanted?"

Jasper cleared his throat. He suddenly wanted to give the boy the benefit of the doubt.

Carlisle and Esme both loved him like a son—he'd felt that--and they had taken in Alice and had, more importantly, allowed him into their home as well.

He would hate to hurt them by causing injury to Edward.

But he was prepared to fight him for Alice.

"Edward, Alice is my mate." There. He'd said it out loud. He'd claimed her as his own.

He felt annoyance from Edward, and the boy had raised his eyebrows at him.

He couldn't blame Edward for not knowing with certainty that he and Alice were intimate.

They did not touch each other in the presence of the Cullens, and the only reason he had agreed to share a bedroom with Alice was because there were no other rooms to be had.

Unless he shared with Edward and that had not seemed like a good idea.

"Alice isn't some piece of property that you can stake your claim on."

"What did you say to me?" Jasper had to force himself to remain still.

He wanted to strike Edward down for that remark, push that pretty face of his in the dirt.

He noticed Edward had bent at the knees slightly, as if he was anticipating some attack.

Jasper pulled back his anger.

"My interest in Alice is purely platonic," Edward said, "as is her friendship with me."

Jasper's nostrils flared.

He hadn't even given thought to Alice seeking out a more suitable mate, but it made sense.

"No, it doesn't. She loves you," Edward said.

Jasper's eyes widened. "Are you doing it now? Reading my mind without my permission?"

Edward exhaled. "It doesn't work like that. I can't help that I'm hearing everything that you're thinking.

And it's especially hard to block it out when you're standing less than three feet away from me."

Jasper locked his eyes on Edward's. _I would appreciate if you would refrain from speaking with Alice about…private matters._

"I don't know what you mean."

"You heard me think that?"

Edward nodded. "Of course, but… what private matters?"

_The bedroom._

Edward shook his head and gave him a look of distaste. "Alice and I don't discuss what the two of you do in the privacy of your bedroom."

_You wouldn't have to._

Edward let out a long sigh. "Why do you think I'm out here instead of at the house?"

_The same reason I am. _"Emmett and Rosalie?"

Edward laughed. "They can get a little boisterous."

_He should try having to feel everything…_

Edward looked at Jasper with sympathy. "I hadn't considered how their activities might be affecting you."

Jasper nodded. "I had to leave."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, a little animosity between Jasper and Edward, but what's a poor, scarred, penniless Southern boy to do when confronted with rich, urbane, handsome SINGLE Edward Cullen?**

**Can you blame him for feeling a little unsettled by Alice's friendship with that?**


	2. Fragile Flower

**A/N: I don't think it's absolutely necessary for you to have read Turpentine Baptism in order to understand the story in its entirety, but this chapter may leave you with questions if you haven't read it.**

**This chapter takes place in the present. A few weeks after the events in Turpentine Baptism.**

* * *

**An Affair of the Heart**

Chapter 2: Fragile Flower

Reneesme thrust a gift-wrapped package onto Jasper's lap, interrupting his thoughts.

He frowned at it. "What is this?" He didn't much care for surprises.

"A new shirt since I…you know, ruined your other one."

"You didn't have to—Alice---" Jasper looked up at Reneesme.

The girl was chewing on her bottom lip, twisting her hands.

He shook his head at himself: sometimes he forgot his manners.

"Thank you, Reneesme. A thoughtful gesture." He set the package aside.

Reneesme felt summarily dismissed, and she did not like the feeling.

Not at all.

Who was he to dismiss her?

She opened her mouth to say something, but Jasper glanced at her from his book and said, "Yes?"

All the smart things she had planned to say to him melted away.

He always seemed to have that effect on her. She turned on her heel and stormed off.

* * *

Reneesme plopped down on the piano bench next to Edward.

"So?"

_He didn't even open it!_

Edward kissed Reneesme's forehead. "I told you not to bother to wrap it, didn't I?"

_Why is Jasper so weird about everything?_

_

* * *

_

Alice's eyes zeroed in on the wrapped package the moment she stepped into their bedroom.

Jasper grinned when he heard the tiny gasp escape her throat.

"What's that?" she breathed, mesmerized by the paper, ribbons and the shiny bow.

Jasper chuckled. "A peace offering. From Nessie. But I'm sure Bella put her up to it."

These days, Reneesme's behavior tended to lean toward selfishness and self-absorption. Unless Emmett was around.

"You haven't opened it." She quickly walked toward the gift and scooped it up, cradling it against her chest. "Why haven't you opened it?"

"I was waiting for you. I now how much you like—"

Alice's squeal of delight interrupted him. She tore at the paper. And frowned. "I've already replaced this shirt."

Jasper shrugged. "It's the thought that counts."

* * *

Alice checked her outfit in the mirror and sighed, her shoulders sagging.

She traced the top half of the bite mark Jasper had given to her a few weeks ago. Why couldn't he have bitten lower?

She pulled off the strapless dress and tossed it on the pile of now-unacceptable-attire.

Edward knocked on the open door and peered around it.

Venom flooded his mouth when he saw Alice smiling at him, wearing nothing but black panties and a black bra.

He started to turn away, but Alice said, "Wait, Edward. Tell me, is the scar that noticeable?"

Alice had slipped on a pair of jeans and a shirt with a plunging neckline. Edward swallowed.

He saw a hint of the raised scar above her left breast. "You know the kids at school won't see anything at all."

"I know," Alice said sadly, "but it makes Jasper feel guilty." She fingered the crescent-shaped scar.

Edward gripped the door. It creaked and groaned. "Then let him," he said between clenched teeth.

"How can you say something so cruel, Edward? You of all people know how much guilt Jasper carries around with him."

"For strangers he killed eons ago!" Edward crossed the room and grabbed Alice, jerking her back against him.

He brushed aside the material on her shirt, grazing her breast.

His eyes met hers in the floor-length mirror. "He should have to look at it every damn day of his existence.

Let him feel guilty about that instead of wasting another thought on people long since buried."

Alice pushed Edward's arms aside and walked away from him. "Why are you always so hard on Jasper?"

Edward growled. "Because everybody else treats him as if he's this fragile flower, and he's not, Alice. He's not."

Edward wished he had Reneesme's gift so he could show her.

Alice frowned at him. _I don't need protecting, Edward. _"He's my husband. I love him. He loves me."

Edward held his tongue, his jaw working with the effort to remain silent because, in that moment, he wanted to tell her every dark and nasty secret Jasper had been keeping from her.

"Most normal men buy their wives jewelry."

Alice pulled the fabric of her shirt over the scar and held it there.

Edward bunched his eyebrows together and shook his head.

He turned and fled down the stairs.

* * *

**A/N: I've noticed these last two chapters are short because I was trying to separate the past scenes from the present scenes by breaking them up into chapters. I probably won't be able to keep doing that b/c I don't have enough story material to keep doing this w/o unnecessarily chopping up the story and screwing up the flow or padding it. I'll try my best to make it apparent when the scene is in the past and when it's in the present. **

** Thanks for reading. Please review.**


	3. Piano Lesson

**Piano Lesson**

They were sitting together on the piano bench and his intention had been to teach her the basics,

but she'd simply smiled at him and said, "Just play and I'll follow along."

"It's not that simple," Edward said, frowning.

There were rules.

She flashed him that brilliant smile—the one that lit up her honey-colored eyes—and said, "Sure it is!"

And he was amazed.

Not only did she follow along flawlessly, she would digress,

embellish, alter the piece so completely that, at one point, Rosalie

had appeared and demanded to know the name of the piece and the composer.

Edward laughed, shaking his head, and pointing at Alice.

"We started off with Mozart, but I don't believe the great master himself would recognize his own work now that Alice has gotten her hands on it."

Rosalie glared at Alice as she banged away on Edward's piano with abandon

and he followed her example.

What had gotten into Edward?

He knew there were rules.

"But this is much more fun, Rosalie. You should try it," Edward said, answering her unspoken thoughts.

Rosalie huffed and turned on her heel.

Alice abruptly stopped playing.

"Don't stop because of Rosalie. She's just jealous."

Edward glanced at Alice and noticed she was sitting still with a vacant look on her face.

Was she experiencing some type of seizure?

He was about to call for Carlisle when he saw himself kissing her.

Alice blinked and scooted off the bench. "I should go and check on Jasper."

"Wait." Edward grabbed her arm. "What was that?"

Alice looked at him with wide eyes and alarm clearly written across her face.

_Edward, Jasper will kill you if he walks in here and sees your hand on my arm._

He'd wanted to tell her that he didn't care. But he didn't doubt her when she'd told him Jasper would kill him

if he caught him touching her because, if he'd been Jasper, he would have wanted to do the same.

And, so, he'd let fear make the decision for him: He released his grip on her arm and she flitted away from his clumsy grasp like a graceful butterfly.

* * *

"You know that thing doesn't play itself, right?"

Edward glanced over at Emmett. "What?"

"You've been sitting at a piano for over an hour… not playing it. Did you forget how to play or something?"

He thumped open the key cover and ran his fingers lightly along the smooth ivory keys.

Edward closed his eyes and imagined himself caressing Alice's neck, her collar bone, the scar above her left breast.

He snapped open his eyes.

Where were these thoughts coming from?

He had Bella now. They had Reneesme. And he loved them both.

That ought to have been enough. More than enough.

So why were his thoughts constantly drawn to Alice these days?

Hadn't he told himself he'd made his peace with these inappropriate feelings the day Alice and Jasper were married?

* * *

**A/N: Apologies for the short chapter. As you can tell by the length of time between updates, for some reason, I'm having a difficult time writing this story. But I am going to hack my way through this jungle I've lost myself in.**


	4. Ring of Fire

**A/N: Another short one. So sorry. (I feel like I'm scaling Everest w/ this story!)**

**Ring of Fire**

She skipped over to him and thrust her left hand in front of his face, wiggling her fingers.

"He finally worked up the nerve to ask me."

Edward glanced at the silver ring on Alice's hand.

He pulled his Calculus book closer and continued to scribble out the problems on his note paper.

"Is that from his latest dietary lapse?"

"Edward Cullen, I can't believe you! Jasper… would never."

Alice stomped away from him.

* * *

"I hope that anger isn't directed at me," Jasper said as he walked into their bedroom.

Alice shook her head, twisting the slim silver band on her left hand.

"Edward is acting like an ass."

Jasper raised his eyebrows at her.

Those were the first unkind words she'd ever uttered about one of the Cullens and

he had to admit that he was secretly pleased they were aimed at Saint Edward.

He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

Alice glanced at her ring and then at him. "Jasper?"

"Yes darlin'?"

He sat down next to her and kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger there.

"Where… did you find this ring?"

Jasper pulled away.

Did she just ask him where he had **found** the ring?

"You mean where did I buy it?"

"But you--we don't have any money, so how… did you… get…it?"

Jasper stood up.

He didn't know who he was angrier with at the moment: Edward for planting some idea in her head that he'd stolen it

or Alice for entertaining the suggestion that he would steal her a wedding ring.

"Jesus, Alice!" He turned his back on her.

She gasped as his utter frustration reached out and squeezed her.

"Don't you think I would have stolen something fancier if I was going to steal!"

Alice stared at Jasper's back with wide eyes.

This was the first time he'd ever raised his voice at her.

"It's all right if you found it. I don't mind."

But her emotions told him differently: the idea of wearing some dead woman's ring appalled her.

Jasper let his head fall back so he was staring at the ceiling and inhaled deeply.

He decided right then that he was going to pull Edward apart.

"I didn't take it when I…"

Jasper dropped his head and scrubbed at his eyes with heels of his hands. The red was still there, faintly, at the edges.

"I don't mind," Alice repeated, softly.

Jasper turned and roared, "I didn't get that goddamned ring off the body, Alice! I never take—"

But that wasn't the truth. He did take items from the people he'd killed. Nothing of value. Not since he'd left Maria.

Alice's doubt burned and scarred him more deeply than any punishment Maria had ever doled out to him.

He reached out and grabbed Alice's wrist roughly and snatched the ring off her finger.

"What are you doing?" Alice lunged at him, reaching for the ring.

He pushed her.

* * *

They all heard Jasper shouting at Alice.

Edward had gotten up from his piano, but Carlisle stopped him. "It's none of your concern, son."

Then they heard the crash and Jasper was stalking out of the bedroom.

The look of animosity on Jasper's face made the scars even more menacing.

Edward shrank back against the piano.

They watched Jasper alter his course so he was heading toward Esme.

The fierce look in his eyes and the anger on his face frightened her, so she stepped back until she was against the wall.

Carlisle suddenly appeared between them, shouting, "Emmett!"

Jasper hesitated in front of Carlisle, his eyes meeting Esme's briefly before Emmett's massive form blocked her from his view.

He turned and fled through the back door.

Carlisle crouched down and picked up a silver band from the floor. "Esme, what is this?"

Esme held out her hand and Carlisle dropped the ring in her palm.

"Alice's engagement ring. Jasper asked me to help him select one so Alice wouldn't see what he was up to."

* * *

**I liked the idea of Edward's mean-spirited remark unintentionally causing a microscopic crack in Alice and Jasper's relationship. I could write pre-Twilight, background scenes about Jasper, Alice, and Edward all day long... it's the post-BD present-day scenes that are giving me fits. I mean, would Edward REALLY try to act on any feelings for Alice? He's had several decades listening to Alice's thoughts to know that Alice loves Jasper unconditionally. Would Edward force himself on Alice? Because that's the only way I see Edward getting part of what he wants. But I don't think Edward's character is that impetuous. I**** welcome any ideas, suggestions... Thanks for reading! **


	5. Contingent Upon What?

**A/N: I guess all that pissing and moaning helped. Or it could be that this chapter is focused on Jasper and Alice.**

**CONTINGENT UPON WHAT?**

Alice's charcoal pencil stopped mid-stroke when she heard what Edward was playing.

He'd started off with a few bars from his Bella's Lullaby, but the soft tinkling had quickly been replaced by another, older composition.

Alice hadn't heard Edward play it in over sixty years and, yet, she couldn't help but notice the changes.

The longing and heartbreak were both still evident in the notes, but they had evolved and traded places so that the heartbreak was no longer the dominant feeling.

Oh, it would lift its head up periodically as Edward sped through the piece, but the longing rang out, no longer quietly haunting the dark shadows of heartbreak.

It was urgent, insistent and primeval.

Alice's chest heaved as the deep vibrations from the notes and chords wormed their way into her belly and settled in her lower abdomen.

A heavy, aching feeling smoldered and churned in her pelvis as Edward continued his relentless assault against the piano keys.

She used her gift to search for Jasper, but when she saw nothing, she realized he had probably given himself over to the hunt.

Jasper and Esme had left together earlier that morning to hunt, but more importantly, to bond as mother and son and

to continue to smooth over the hurt caused by the knowledge that Jasper had killed Esme's youngest sister Amy.

Alice sighed.

They probably wouldn't arrive home for several more hours.

She lay back on the bed and closed her eyes.

* * *

Jasper rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the smile that touched his lips.

"How did I know I'd find you in here?"

He stepped up behind Alice and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her hair.

Alice turned and quickly kissed him on the lips before turning her attention back to the contents of the new closet Esme had contracted

to have built as part of her expansion of their bedroom. Both Alice and Jasper had politely declined Carlisle and Esme's offer to build them a small home as a wedding gift.

The bedroom expansion had been a compromise.

Jasper had been reluctant to agree to it seeing how Carlisle had already paid for their small wedding and Alice's outrageously expensive wedding dress,

and he still owed Esme for the cost of Alice's modest wedding band.

"I picked up a few new shirts for you while Esme, Rosalie, and I were out shopping today."

Alice held up a dark blue, long-sleeve, button-front shirt against him and admired it.

"Alice," Jasper exhaled. "The shirts I have are perfectly fine… practically brand new… don't you think Carlisle's spent enough of his hard-earned money on us?"

Alice lowered her eyes.

"I guess I never stopped to think where the money was coming from. Esme and Rosalie don't seem to pay any attention to price tags."

Jasper instantly hated himself when he felt Alice's joy sink and drown beneath sadness.

He pulled her against him and kissed the top of her head.

He could get a job… certainly nothing like Carlisle did.

Jasper could not fathom being around that many injured and bleeding humans and not succumbing to the thirst.

It would be so easy to rationalize it. They were sick, dying, suffering… he was putting them out of their misery.

Alice's voice startled him from his thoughts. "Take me to bed?"

He swallowed the venom that had flooded into his mouth while he had been thinking about all those helpless humans crowded together

in a place where death was a natural and sometimes inevitable occurrence.

"What?"

He looked down at his tiny wife, confused by her words, until he felt the faint flicker of lust caress him.

Oh. The bloodlust.

Alice must have picked up on it.

Even with his gift, Jasper often had a difficult time separating the two.

Jasper cocked his head to the side and listened, and when he didn't hear anybody else in the house, he scooped up Alice and deposited her on the bed.

He pulled at his shirt, ripping one of the sleeves at the shoulder in his haste.

Alice giggled as he gave the ruined article of clothing a disgusted look and tossed it on the floor.

He leaned down and pressed his lips against her mouth in a chaste kiss.

He looked her in the eye. "I know what you're thinking, darlin', so don't even say it."

He was definitely going to have to find a way to earn his keep if a slight push of lust from his beautiful little wife was going to reduce him to shredding all of his clothing.

* * *

Jasper's hands ceased movement at the sound of the piano.

"He's not listening to us," Alice whispered against his ear.

She placed her small hand over his to encourage him to keep doing what he'd been doing, but he pulled away from her and got off the bed.

She heard a quiet chuckle from Edward that the music didn't quite mask.

_Damn you, Edward!_ Alice screamed at him in her mind. _I was so close!_

* * *

Jasper gave her a dubious look as they approached the tool shed at the back of the Cullen property.

"In here? Wouldn't you rather go up—"

Alice yanked on his arm and said, "I can't wait any longer, Jasper.

I'm still all hot and bothered from what you started and didn't finish earlier today."

* * *

Edward looked up from the essay he was writing and frowned at Emmett.

"What is the significance of 10:30 PM?"

Emmett shrugged and continued scribbling away on his own essay.

"Then why are you practically chanting it?" Edward snapped.

"No reason," Emmett said, erasing a word and brushing away the pink debris before continuing with his writing.

Edward sat back and crossed his arms. "What are you trying to hide?"

"What makes you think I'm hiding anything from you, Eddie?"

Edward clenched his teeth and said, "Edward."

_Rosalie's right… he's got a stick up his—_

Edward growled.

Emmett sat back in his chair and draped his arms on the table in front of him.

"Do you really want to know?"

"No… but you might as well tell me anyway."

Emmett smirked at him and motioned for Edward to lean in closer.

"I heard some of the boys talking in the locker room the other day about something I want to try out on Rosalie."

Edward held up his hand to silence Emmett before he decided to divulge, in disgusting detail, what it was that he wanted to do.

Edward gasped as Emmett pictured himself doing that thing.

Edward stood up and hissed, "That is the most disgusting, perverse thing… why would you even want to… it can't do anything for you… can it?"

Emmett showed Rosalie reciprocating.

"I'm sorry I even asked."

Edward left the room, shaking his head and muttering, "pervert."

He'd never be able to look at Rosalie's pouty red lips the same way ever again.

* * *

Emmett sifted through the parts of the transistor radio he was building and said, "Hey, Ed, do me a favor and get me a Phillips head from the tool shed."

Edward looked at Emmett as if he was speaking one of the foreign languages that he didn't know.

"Firstly, it is Edward. Not Eddie. Not Ed. Ed-ward. Secondly, what is a Phillips head and why can't you retrieve it yourself?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes at Edward. _Such a priss… _"I'll go get it for you, honey."

"No!" Emmett's hand shot out and he grabbed Rosalie's wrist.

"Em, I can find it faster than Edward. He doesn't even know what he's looking for."

"It's one of these," Emmett said, holding up a screwdriver, "except the pointy end is star-shaped instead of flat."

Rosalie twisted her wrist from Emmett's grasp. "He won't know where to look to find it."

_Alice should have come up with a contingency plan._

Edward narrowed his eyes at Emmett. "Contingent upon what?"

"What?" Emmett said, his eyes meeting Edward's.

"Don't what-me, Emmett. I heard you think that Alice should have come up with a contingency plan."

_Damnit! I told her I was no good at pulling off stuff like this…_

"Emmett, what are you and Edward talking about?"

Rosalie was standing with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

She hated it when Edward did this, especially if it was her husband involved in these seemingly one-sided conversations.

_Alice wanted to teach you a lesson for interrupting her alone time with Jasper so_

_she asked me to send you to the tool shed to embarrass the hell out of you._

Edward closed his eyes and shook his head. What was she thinking?

He lived in a house with Rosalie and Emmett.

Nothing she and Jasper were doing in that tool shed could scar him more than what he'd heard from those two.

Nothing.

He plucked the screwdriver from Emmett's hand. "Like this but with a star at the pointed end, yes?"

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I freely admit it. The story is taking a little detour, going along the scenic route. It's a good thing we don't have a time schedule or deadline to adhere to, isn't it? Next up will *most likely* be from Edward's POV b/c he's probably hearing everything that Alice is remembering. How smug is he really going to be when he steps into that tool shed? **


	6. Jasper, Interrupted

**JASPER, INTERRUPTED**

Jasper stopped moving against Alice, who was leaning back slightly on top of the tool bench, and murmured in her ear, "Someone's coming."

He recognized the foot falls. "Edward," he said in a flat tone.

Alice nodded, her cheek brushing against his.

Jasper felt certain that he was interrupting them intentionally. What other reason would Edward have to come out to the tool shed? Jasper had never seen the boy build or repair anything.

He frowned and started to pull away from Alice.

He let his annoyance at Edward's interference, for the second time that day, overrun him and inadvertently taint Alice's emotions.

She held him against her with a firm hand and bucked her hips up into his roughly, insistently.

"He won't come in." She had seen it: Edward would hover outside the door for a few moments and then leave.

* * *

Edward slowed his pace as he drew closer to the shed and heard them—in his mind and with his ears.

He lingered outside the door.

He could smell them and what they were doing in there, but he didn't experience the usual shame he felt when he heard Carlisle and Esme or

the feelings of overwhelming self-consciousness that Rosalie and Emmett's bedroom activities elicited in him.

He felt oddly… stimulated.

And curious.

He pushed open the door and peered inside.

His eyes fixed on Alice's small, naked breasts.

Venom rushed into his mouth and soon his lips and chin were wet with it.

He felt a sudden and irrational urge to charge at Jasper, to challenge him, and to mount Alice.

What was happening to him?

It felt like bloodlust, but there were no humans remotely close to them.

Just vampires: Alice, him, and Jasper.

He heard a protracted hiss--did that just come from him?

He saw Jasper pull away from Alice and turn toward him.

His stance was not defensive.

* * *

Jasper stopped pressing himself into Alice and froze when he heard the door creak open, almost inaudibly-- it would have been if he'd been human.

He gave her a stunned look before he glared over his shoulder at Edward, but Edward's eyes were on Alice.

Jasper felt Edward's lust and jealousy stab at him. He had only ever felt emotions this raw and intense from the newborns.

Then Edward did the unthinkable: he let out a long, feral hiss.

* * *

His decision left no time for her to foresee the unfolding, tumbling of events or the consequences of his act but when she heard the hiss issue forth

from Edward's mouth she did not need her gift to tell her what Jasper's response would be. She grabbed at his shoulders and wrapped her tiny legs around his waist,

anything to keep him from charging at Edward.

A low rumble began deep within Jasper's chest. His body quivered as he fought against the natural impulse to defend what was his by ripping Edward apart.

"Edward," Alice shouted, "back down." _Lower your head… act submissive… back away_

Edward snarled at her suggestion that he prostrate himself before Jasper; he even took a menacing step forward to show Alice that he wasn't some scared little boy.

Jasper flew at him.

Collided into him.

Edward found himself knocked down, flat on his back, attempting to fight off Jasper's relentless, ferocious attack.

Alice was screaming and then he was screaming as Jasper's teeth broke the skin at several points on his body and the venom ignited a pain he thought he'd never have to endure again.

* * *

Emmett stopped fiddling with the transistor radio and cocked his head to the side.

Rosalie was already up and rushing toward the sound of Edward screaming.

"Rose, wait!" The radio shattered as Emmett sprang up from the sofa and it slid from his lap.

He pushed himself to catch up with Rosalie—Carlisle and Esme followed behind at a more cautious pace.

He practically wrenched her arm free from the socket when he was close enough to reach out and wrap his hand around her upper arm.

Rosalie shrieked, "You idiot! He's hurting him!"

Emmett didn't think when he saw Jasper mauling Edward.

He barreled into Jasper, sending him soaring until his body struck against a massive tree trunk with a cracking thud.

* * *

Carlisle crouched down next to Edward. Esme hovered behind him looking at Edward with a worried expression on her face.

Carlisle said, "Son, don't try to get up. Let me—"

"I'm perfectly fine," Edward snapped, slapping his hand away.

"Edward," Esme gasped, shocked that Edward had actually struck out at Carlisle. She moved back so Carlisle could stand.

Edward winced as he sat up and then gasped when the burning sensation raced throughout the rest of his body.

"It's fine," Carlisle told Esme in a low whisper.

She opened her mouth to tell him that Edward's rude behavior was anything but 'fine' but Alice's voice rang out, interrupting her.

"Emmett, don't!"

The Cullens looked from Edward to Alice and followed her line of sight to see Emmett running toward Jasper who was picking himself up from the ground after having landed hard against the base of the tree.

"Emmett, stop!" Alice tried again, but Emmett had already launched himself at Jasper.

And missed.

Emmett craned his head back to look up at Jasper crouching on the lowest branch of the tree.

"My quarrel is with him," Jasper gave Edward a hard stare, "not you."

_What'd you do, Eddie? _Emmett thought as he turned around. _Make a move on his woman or something? _

Edward was unable to look Emmett in the eye as he shook his head.

Jasper dropped down out of the tree and landed without a sound. "You really shouldn't do that."

Emmett jumped forward and whirled around, crouching low, bracing himself for an attack.

Jasper studied the bigger vampire.

He could definitely teach the big guy some useful techniques and maneuvers that would complement his brute strength.

Rosalie suddenly appeared between them. "You put one tooth mark on him and I will tear you apart myself," she hissed.

Jasper held up his hands.

He grinned at Emmett. "Like I said, the quarrel's not with you."

* * *

Edward squeezed his eyes shut and tried not to groan as Carlisle cleaned and examined his wounds.

"Edward, what happened?"

"You saw what happened," Edward said softly, but with an edge to his voice.

Everyone had seen it: his impotent attempt at defending himself against Jasper.

He'd been listening for Alice, hoping to hear her thinking about him, but all he heard was her worrying about Jasper.

Carlisle's voice broke into his thoughts. "What provoked it?"

Edward scowled. "I accidentally walked in on them… when they were… you know…"

Carlisle raised his eyebrows. "Having intimate relations?" _Didn't he hear…?_

Edward closed his eyes and exhaled; then he nodded, answering Carlisle's spoken question and ignoring the unspoken one.

_I suppose I should have realized that Jasper would be overly protective of what he considers his. _

Edward's eyes snapped open and he gave Carlisle a hard look.

"Alice isn't some object that he possesses, Carlisle."

Carlisle studied Edward's face. "Son, what you have to understand is that Jasper spent a great number of decades fighting in a territorial war…

and existing in a hostile environment where he most likely had to fight others in his own coven on a daily basis in order to survive."

Edward wasn't interested in hearing about Jasper's history.

He already knew more than he cared to know about it from Jasper's own thoughts.

"Are we done here?" He shrugged into his shirt and quickly buttoned it before Carlisle had a chance to answer him.

Carlisle placed his hand on Edward's arm to keep him from leaving just yet

_Take extra care when you're around his mate, Edward._

_I know you love Alice dearly, as do the rest of us, but he may perceive you as a threat simply because you're the one without a mate._

Edward shrugged off Carlisle's hand and slammed the door behind him.

Carlisle stared at the closed door, at a loss to explain Edward's current bad mood.

His attitude was similar to the one Edward had held immediately after he had expressed his hope that Edward and Rosalie would become mates.

Edward had become angry and sullen and both he and Rosalie had nothing but rude things to say to each other until Emmett joined their family

and began to court Rosalie. But the problem couldn't be with Alice—she was already spoken for.

Perhaps, with the addition of a third couple, Edward was feeling pressured to find a mate?

* * *

**A/N: Still on the scenic route... Please review.**


	7. All I Have Are Words

**A/N: We finally have a (long overdue) chapter in present day!**

**All I Have Are Words**

Edward couldn't understand why Alice was thinking about the time he had been foolish enough to openly challenge Jasper

until he became aware of what he was playing. His fingers stopped abruptly.

He glided upstairs toward Alice and Jasper's bedroom and let himself in.

Alice was lying on her bed with her eyes closed, a faint smile on her lips.

She looked like a pale, delicate flower lying in the middle of that queen-sized bed.

So vulnerable.

Edward couldn't help himself, couldn't stop himself.

He didn't want to stop himself anymore.

He fell on Alice, pulled her small body up against his and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame.

* * *

Alice smiled as she watched Jasper—ever the gentleman—carry Esme across a slow-running river and place her gently on her feet.

Esme was giggling like a school girl.

Alice's smile widened. Jasper had that effect on her as well.

She saw Esme pull Jasper into a fierce hug, and Alice could almost feel Jasper's elation from the expression on his face.

She hoped they would be home soon.

She missed Jasper and wanted to curl up in his arms and bask in his feelings of happiness and contentment.

* * *

Alice's eyes snapped open when she felt the bed dip.

She quickly dismissed her first thought that Jasper was home already and gasped when she realized that it was Edward enfolding her in an embrace.

"Edward, what are you doing!"

She hadn't meant to shout, but his sudden appearance had surprised her.

If her attention hadn't been wrapped up in seeing how close Jasper and Esme were to arriving home, she would have registered Edward's presence before he'd even walked through the door.

* * *

Edward held her closer to him, buried his nose in her spiky but soft hair, inhaled deeply of her sweet scent, and in a thick voice he said, "I want to…"

Words failed him.

God, he would give anything to have Reneesme's gift at this moment.

He could show her.

But she was seeing it, he realized: her body had stiffened; he saw her eyes glaze over, and he took advantage of the opportunity to rip open the top of her dress.

His tongue traced the scar above her left breast in a feverish pattern… as if he could smooth it away.

* * *

"Stop."

He felt Alice's tiny hands on the top of his head, pushing him away.

He pressed his face closer to her breast, lower.

She struggled against him.

She was strong.

But he was stronger.

* * *

She heard him begin to tell her what he wanted but the remainder of what Edward said was lost to her when she succumbed to the vision.

She watched Edward force her down on the bed; she saw that he tried to be tender and loving, but she wasn't going along with it.

How could she?

Yes, she did love Edward. He did have a place in her heart, but as her brother, not a lover.

Her body belonged to Jasper and to him alone.

She watched herself thrash and buck underneath Edward, attempting to throw him off, and each time she could free a hand she would strike out at him

in an effort to put him on the defensive so she could squeeze out from beneath him and escape before he had the chance to do something that she knew

deep down in her soul he would regret.

Edward grabbed her arms and twisted her body until she was lying flat on her stomach.

The vision ended with Edward whispering something in her ear as he took her from behind.

* * *

Alice blinked and was instantly aware that Edward was licking and suckling her breast.

"Stop."

She pushed at his head with her hands, but he held on more tightly.

"Edward, you don't want to do this," she pleaded.

He raised his head, cradled her face in his hands, his thumbs caressing her temples.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do this… with you."

He placed soft kisses on her lips and, when Alice didn't jerk away immediately, he tried to deepen the kiss.

She spoke into his open mouth. "What about what I want?"

He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers, his fingers massaging the base of her skull.

"Alice, please," he opened his eyes and looked into hers, "it's you… it's always been you… since that day at the piano. I want--I need—for you to feel my love for you."

She gave him a sad look. "What about Bella?"

Edward frowned. "I don't want…," he shook his head, "… I can't think about that right now."

He pressed his lips against Alice's forehead as he laid her back on the bed.

"Just let me," he kissed the right corner of her mouth, "love you," and the left side, "the way you're supposed to be loved."

_Jasper. _

His lips hovered close to hers and she saw dark anger spread momentarily across Edward's face.

She hadn't meant to think about Jasper because she knew hearing his name would not sway Edward from the course he was on,

but it was instinctual, an automatic response for her to think about him and then what he was going to do to Edward if Edward had his way with her

and Jasper ever found out about it.

Edward lifted his face from Alice's. "He doesn't love you."

"How can you say something like—"

"I've heard him," he interrupted.

Edward locked his eyes on hers so she could see that he was telling her the truth.

"He obsesses… not over his feelings of love for you, but the fact that he needs you… like he needed Maria."

He saw it on her face: her heart breaking.

Alice rolled onto her side, her thin shoulders shaking.

Edward scooted in behind her and squeezed her arm.

He kissed the back of her head and whispered, "If I had Jasper's power I could make you love me too.

But all I have are my words, my music," Edward trailed his fingers down Alice's arm, "my hands to show you the depth of my feelings for you."

* * *

**A/N: Should I create a poll to find out how many people are howling with outrage that I've written our beloved Edward as a manipulative s.o.b?**

**Thanks to Fruit Fly (AGirlLikeKrys) for planting the idea in my subconscious mind that Edward could lie to/trick Alice somehow. You never know where good ideas **

**are going to come from or when you're going to use them. As I was writing this chapter, I remembered Fruit Fly's suggestion and it, not only solidified this chapter,**

**but has rescued the story from meandering into oblivion never to be concluded. So everybody thank Fruit Fly. I know I do! **


	8. The Imperfection of Paint

**A/N: I took down the previous version of this chapter so I could re-work it.**

**I hope this version is better.**

**The Imperfection of Paint**

Edward was wrong.

Jasper would never use his gift to force her to love him.

And he would never have to.

She had loved him from the first moment she glimpsed him in her vision.

She fell even more deeply in love with him when he stepped into their diner and had apologized for keeping her waiting.

And the first time he made love to her, with his mouth and his hands, Alice knew without a doubt that she was made for him.

"Stop thinking about him!"

Alice blinked and focused her eyes on Edward's forehead because she could not allow herself to see him, not like this, doing this unspeakable thing to her.

This wasn't Edward.

He growled and gripped her face between his hands. "It. Is. Me."

His face softened when her eyes met his. "If you would just relax …give yourself over to me, you'd enjoy it. I know you would."

Edward nestled his face against the curve of her neck and shoulder and pressed his lips against her skin.

Every decision she saw herself making ended the same, so she chose to endure it in the least violent way.

She tried to detach herself from the act by studying the ceiling, scrutinizing it, noting the microscopic imperfections in the paint.

She was attempting to keep him from her thoughts.

But he heard enough fragments to piece together that her attention was not on him.

He was hurt; his self-confidence and assuredness waned; then he became annoyed.

He didn't want to make love to her.

He wanted to make love with her.

Edward slid his hand between them.

Edward's touch sent a quick pulse of pleasure shooting through her lower abdomen and as small sigh escaped her lips.

She gripped Edward's wrist and tried to move his hand.

She didn't want to come for him.

She would not allow herself to betray Jasper by allowing her body to feel any enjoyment.

_Edward, please. Don't. _

Edward trailed his knuckles down her right cheek. His eyes locked onto hers.

"I won't allow myself release, not until I work you to your climax first."

She let go of his wrist and Edward rubbed her clit furiously—up and down, in a circular motion, back and forth.

He groaned when he felt her beginning to tighten around him.

Alice relented and gave herself over to the intense and pleasurable pressure that Edward's hand was building up inside her.

She lifted up her hips to grind against Edward's in a frenzied meeting of thrusting bodies.

Jasper could arrive home at any moment.

She needed this thing to be over. Now.

Edward listened as Alice chanted _faster, faster faster _in her mind.

He followed her unspoken instructions and guidance and in less than two minutes she was clamping her legs against his ribs and gripping the back of his neck with her hands, small gasps issuing forth from her open mouth.

* * *

Reneesme waved at Jacob as he pulled away from the Cullen house.

"You do know they make jacks for that," Reneesme said when she saw Emmett holding up the front end of his Jeep.

"This is faster." He quickly unscrewed the lug nuts with his fingers and pulled off the tire.

Reneesme crossed her arms. "Yeah, but what if Charlie drops by unexpectedly?"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Vampire hearing, duh."

He rotated all four tires and let down the Jeep.

"I heard Jacob's jalopy from at least five miles away."

"Jalopy?" Reneesme laughed. "What century are you living in?"

"I meant to say hoopty." Emmett hopped into the Jeep.

"Can I pull it into the garage for you?" Reneesme looked hopeful.

Emmett snorted. "Not after what you did to Edward's Volvo."

Reneesme crossed her arms. "That wasn't my fault. Edwar—I mean, Dad screamed at me and made me nervous."

Emmett chuckled. "That's because he saw what Alice was seeing you plan to do."

Reneesme stuck out her tongue at Emmett before walking off toward the front steps.

* * *

Emmett pawed through a stack of magazines he'd left in the garage and when nothing piqued his interest he decided he'd go upstairs to watch TV in his room.

Rosalie hated it, but she wasn't home, so he could kick back and relax on the bed and enjoy some sports.

He grinned when he entered the house and his acute hearing picked up on the minute sound of two bodies sliding against each other.

If Jasper was back, then where was Esme?

Emmett adjusted himself as he walked up the stairs at a human pace.

If he had Jasper's gift/curse on top of his own keen vampire senses he'd probably be outside humping a tree right now.

He was wondering if Esme still had the adult channels blocked when he heard, "Yesss. Yes Alice. Come for me. Come on, love, you can do it. Come for me."

Emmett froze. That was not Jasper's voice.

He took two steps back and jerked open the door to Alice and Jasper's bedroom.

Edward and Alice were bucking, convulsing, and shuddering against one another.

Edward's head shot up. "Shut—"

Emmett slammed the door, staring at it dumbly.

The door opened. It was Edward—his shirt in one hand, his carefully groomed hair sticking out in all directions.

Emmett blinked. "What. The. Hell. Edward. Did I just see you fucking Alice?"

Edward ran his hand through his disheveled hair. "It's not what you think—"

"The hell it isn't! I saw you… with my own eyes. You were fucking Alice! Alice!"

_Dad?_

Edward's gaze flicked past Emmett to Reneesme standing on the first floor looking up at them. Hearing everything.

"Jesus, Edward! Jasper is going to rip you to pieces with his teeth when he finds out you were—"

"Emmett!" Edward wanted him to shut up before he said 'fucking Alice' again.

"Reneesme, wait!" Edward pulled on his shirt and shot down the stairs.

Emmett glanced down and caught a blur of Reneesme running away from Edward.

* * *

Alice opened the faucet so the water would run fast and hot.

She soaped and scrubbed herself until the bottle of body wash was empty and the body pouf lay in shreds at her feet.

She sat down and hugged her knees, letting the cold water wash over her.

Emmett tensed when heard Alice cut off the shower.

He'd been prepared to harangue her. What the hell had she been thinking? Fucking Edward? In the house? On the same bed she shared with Jasper?

But the sound of the water raining down against the tub had not drowned out her frantic scrubbing. Or the sobbing.

Alice, wrapped in a large towel, opened the bathroom door and glided toward her closet, closing herself in.

Emmett heard the rustling of fabric and assumed she was getting dressed and when Alice opened the door again he saw that he was right.

Alice climbed onto him and sat across his lap. She pressed the side of her face against his chest, her wet hair soaking into his shirt.

"Emmett, you can't tell Jasper."

He swallowed bitter venom. "He's going to find out, Alice. Sooner or later, he'll know something's not right."

Emmett remembered the way Rosalie would shrink away from his touch, and he wanted nothing more than to hunt down Edward himself and pull off his head.

Alice searched for Jasper and saw that he and Esme would arrive home within the half hour.

She slid off Emmett's lap and pulled him to his feet, shoving him toward the door.

"Alice wait—"

"There's no time—"

"But you're not thinking this through—"

"I've seen what happens!"

Emmett looked shocked. Alice rarely snapped at anyone.

"Emmett, please… Jasper will be home soon and I have to strip the bed."

"I'd open a window." Emmett turned and closed the door behind him.

Alice sped to the window and opened it as Emmett had suggested.

There wasn't any breeze today so all she could hope was that the outside smells would waft in and mask the smell of sex.

She stripped the comforter from the bed, the action sending the combined smell of her and Edward rushing toward her face.

She quickly pulled off the bed sheets and buried her nose into the mattress.

* * *

"I wonder where everybody is," Esme said as she and Jasper entered the house and no one was there to greet them.

Jasper immediately felt that something was off but was hard-pressed to explain what, exactly, it was.

He and Esme found Emmett standing motionless in the family room.

"Emmett is everything all right?" Esme asked.

His eyes flicked to Jasper's, briefly; Jasper felt a pinprick of anxiety and then it was smothered.

Before he had a chance to ask Emmett why he was suppressing his emotions, Emmett said, "Alice is upstairs."

Jasper glanced back at the staircase. "She is?" His tone was surprised.

If Alice was here, he would have picked up on her emotions immediately upon entering the house.

He looked at Emmett. "Are you sure?"

Emmett nodded his head. "You should go see to her."

He walked past them and lumbered outside.

Jasper and Esme watched through the windows as Emmett quickly picked up several rocks and lobbed them at some of the trees in their backyard.

The rocks struck machine-gun fast; bark exploded into bursts of slivers like mini wooden fireworks.

"He's angry about something." Esme looked to Jasper for confirmation.

Jasper nodded in agreement even though, for some unknown reason, Emmett was trying to hide his emotions.

* * *

"Alice?" Jasper knocked on the door before opening it--he didn't know why, but he felt compelled to do it even though this was his bedroom as well.

The moment he had the door open, Alice flew into him, burying her face against his chest.

He felt what he could only describe as a black hole where her emotions should be.

He gently pulled her away and studied her dark eyes. "What's wrong?"

She gave him a tight smile and buried her face against his chest again. "I missed you," she whispered.

He felt loss worm its way out from the black hole and burrow into his belly.

"You knew I was coming back," he said in response to her emotion. Had she seen something while he and Esme were away?

Alice wrapped her arms around his waist and gripped him tightly. "I know."

Jasper circled his arms around her tiny body and squeezed her closer to him, resting his chin on top of her head.

That's when he saw it. Or, rather, noticed what he wasn't seeing.

"Alice? What did you do with our bed?"

An unexpected mix of emotions—grief, fury, fear, revulsion—sucker punched him in the gut and then disappeared back into the black hole.

"I-I ordered a new one."

Why wasn't Alice elated?

She loved re-decorating simply because it gave her an excuse to shop.

And why hadn't she waited until the new bed arrived before disposing of or donating theirs?

Well… it wasn't as if they needed one.

Jasper tilted her head back and placed a lingering kiss against her neck before whispering in her ear,

"Well, Miss Alice, I reckon I'll have to take you on the floor then."

He pulled her closer against him and moved his mouth to cover hers but Alice pushed herself away from him.

Turned her back on him.

But not before he saw the look of absolute anguish on her face.

* * *

**A/N: Edward gets to face Reneesme's wrath in the next chapter. Sucks for him!**


	9. Promises

**A/N: WARNING: Foul language to the Nth degee... Thanks for reading and reviewing (wink, wink, hint, hint)**

**PROMISES**

She felt physically ill, like she had to throw up. She slapped away the tears blurring her vision.

She had to get to the cottage before he caught up with her, lock herself in her room.

She knew he wouldn't break down the door.

He'd promised her that.

But he'd promised her mother that he'd love her for eternity too.

Edward caught up with her at the front door and grabbed her wrist. "I do love your mother. Forever, always, for all eternity."

Reneesme jerked her arm and Edward released his grip to keep her from dislocating her wrist, elbow, or shoulder.

She gave him a fierce look. "I heard what Emmett said… what he saw you doing!"

Edward glanced away. "Emmett was confused."

Reneesme let out a disgusted sigh and opened the front door. "Mom's right, you are the worst liar ever!"

Edward caught the front door before it slammed shut and followed Reneesme to her room. "Reneesme please, if you'd let me explain—"

She stopped in front of her room and turned to face him. "Explain what?"

She crossed her arms and stuck out her chin, and he couldn't help but grin at how like her mother she looked when she was angry or exasperated.

He touched her arms, wanting her to unfold them so he could hold her hands, but Reneesme pulled away from him.

Edward let his arms drop to his sides.

"I love your mother more than life itself—"

_Meaningless! You're dead, undead, you can't die!_

Edward frowned at his daughter. This wasn't going to go easy for him. He started again, "I waited a long time for your mother—"

"Then why would you…

Edward heard the echo of Emmett's voice in her mind: _You were fucking Alice! I saw it with my own eyes…_

"… hurt her like that!"

"I would never do anything to hurt your mother, you have to believe me."

How many times had he told Bella, when she was human, that he didn't want to hurt her?

But he had.

More than once.

James… leaving Forks… his suicide mission to Volterra… calling their baby—their beautiful Reneesme—a monster, begging Carlisle to rip her from Bella's womb…

And now Alice. What had he done? Edward ran his hand through his hair.

He looked Reneesme in the eye. "Emmett was," he glanced away, realized his mistake and forced himself to lock his gaze on Reneesme's again, "just being Emmett. You know how he is."

Her expression was sad. "Is Jasper going to hurt Alice when he finds out?"

That was something he hadn't considered.

* * *

The sound of Alice's phone buzzing against the top of the chest of drawers interrupted him before Jasper could ask her why she had pushed him away.

He glanced at the caller ID as he picked it up and held it out to Alice. "It's Edward."

Alice snatched the phone from him and twisted it in her hands until she had obliterated it.

He watched, speechless, as she walked into the dark closet and sat down, burying her face against her knees.

He felt her agony shredding his insides and was crouching down beside her in an instant.

"Alice?"

She nearly knocked him off balance when she flung her arms around him. He felt her sobbing against his chest.

"What is it?" He stroked her hair.

"I have to… tell you something."

He sat down and pulled her closer to him, tucking her into his side. "All right. So tell me."

"You have to promise me something first."

Jasper could tell that whatever it was she had to tell him, he wasn't going to like it.

"I'm not going to make any guarantees," he said carefully.

"Jasper, please!"

He sighed. "I'll try. What is it that I have to promise not to do?"

He knew her so well.

"You have to promise me that no matter what I tell you, no matter how angry it makes you, you promise not to hurt… anybody."

She'd almost said 'him.'

Jasper mulled it over.

He couldn't think of anyone--outside of Maria and her bunch or the Volturi—that he'd be angry enough with to want to harm them.

How bad could it be?

"All right, I promise."

* * *

Edward pressed redial on his phone and listened as his call went directly to voice mail.

"Damn." Edward shoved his cell phone in his pocket and sped toward the front door.

"Dad, wait! What if Jasper—"

He didn't hear the rest of what Reneesme said, and he didn't care. If Jasper was home and Emmett had opened that big mouth of his then Alice was in danger.

* * *

She felt Jasper's embrace slacken and his arms slide away from her.

He clenched his jaw and pressed his fists into the floor. "Did he hurt you when he…when he…"

She heard the floor crack and venom flooded her mouth as Jasper's rage got away from him and struck her full force.

"You promised," she reminded him softly.

He grabbed her arms and pulled her up with him, glaring down at her. "I asked you if he hurt you?"

Alice shook her head.

Edward had been gentle because she had chosen not to struggle against him, but she couldn't tell Jasper that.

The soldier in him would have wanted her to fight him off.

At least try.

But she'd caught a glimpse down the path that decision would have led her; yielding to Edward had been the choice with the least number of lingering repercussions.

Jasper turned his head to the side and looked at the empty space where their bed had been early this morning.

The bed on which Edward had **violated** his wife.

He could only guess at how violent the encounter must have been—obviously violent enough to destroy their bed.

Why was Alice trying to protect Edward by lying to him?

She felt his outrage and was reaching for him but he was too swift, her fingertips brushed his arms as he bolted away from her and flew out of their room.

* * *

Edward didn't make it past the front door.

Emmett was standing there, blocking him, glowering at him. "You sick son of a bitch," he hissed.

"I don't know what Alice told you but-"

Emmett grabbed Edward in a headlock and squeezed.

"She didn't have to tell me anything, you fucker! Not after I listened to her cry while she spent 45 minutes in the shower trying to scour off what you did to her!"

Emmett tried to twist Edward's neck but Edward squirmed and maneuvered himself to keep Emmett from gaining enough leverage to decapitate him.

"I didn't—" Edward and Emmett crashed into the wall next to Reneesme's room and fell to the floor grappling with each other.

"I'm only gonna tear your head off for a few minutes…just long enough for it to hurt like hell when you re-attach it."

Emmett lunged at Edward's head.

* * *

"Dr. Cullen, please call extension 27-21. Dr. Cullen… 2-7-2-1."

Carlisle glanced over his shoulder. "Jackie, will you ask the operator to take a message, please?"

"Of course, Dr. Cullen."

Carlisle gave Mrs. McCall a reassuring smile and leaned down to continue closing the complex laceration on her son Brandon's leg.

He had to force himself to keep it to a human pace. His cell phone had been vibrating against his hip, alerting him to fifteen missed calls, twelve voice messages, and seven text messages, but he couldn't stop mid-procedure.

"Dr. Cullen it's your daughter. Renee…?"

He chuckled as Jackie stumbled over his granddaughter's name. "Reneesme."

"Reneesme, and she said it's an emergency."

* * *

Edward ducked his head away from Emmett's thick forearms and dense biceps and rolled.

If he could gain a clear shot to the front door and make it outside, he could easily out-pace and out-distance Emmett.

Edward scrambled to get to his feet—he looked like a sprinter, with his fingertips against the floor and his right leg extended behind him, and would have escaped Emmett

if he hadn't been struck motionless by the figure standing in the doorway.

* * *

Esme heard Alice shout, "Jasper please, stop! You can't—" before her voice cut off.

She saw Alice standing at the bottom of the stairs, staring straight ahead. "Alice?"

Alice blinked and took three quick steps forward before another vision stopped her.

She gasped, looked at Esme, ran forward a few feet then succumbed to another vision.

Esme watched as Alice dropped to her knees, collapsed on her side and began convulsing.

* * *

Carlisle wet his hands, pumped the soap dispenser, and quickly lathered his hands and rinsed them before drying them on a paper towel.

He walked over to Mrs. McCall and placed his hand lightly on her shoulder. "Dr. Harris should be in shortly and, again, please accept my apology—"

"No, please, it's all right Dr. Cullen," Mrs. McCall gushed. "It's an emergency. I understand."

She let out a high-pitched nervous laugh. "Boy, don't I understand." She looked at her son. "Doctors' kids can have emergencies too, right?"

Carlisle smiled at her. "Yes, and thank you for your understanding, Mrs. McCall. Brandon."

Carlisle unclipped his vibrating phone once he was in the hallway. "Reneesme, what—"

"Carlise, something's wrong with Alice," Esme's voice interrupted him.

"Esme? Is that why Reneesme's been calling?"

Esme said, "Hold on for a minute, darling… she's coming around."

He heard her ask Alice what was happening and Alice said, "Too many decisions, outcomes, futures, flashing, flashing."

He heard a sharp intake of breathe and then Alice's voice, "We have to stop Emmett…Jasper…"

Carlisle heard what he thought was most likely Esme's phone clattering against the floor.

"Esme? Darling…?"

* * *

The look on Jasper's face was pure murder and Edward couldn't help but shudder.

Jasper's eyes flicked from Edward to Emmett. "You hold him," Jasper ordered Emmett.

Jasper stepped inside the cottage but didn't approach Edward.

Instead, he made his way over to the fireplace.

* * *

**A/N: Ooo, I know...I am SO wrong for ending the chapter at this point. Is Emmett REALLY going to let Jasper throw Edward's dismembered body into the fire? Or will Esme and Alice have to be the voices of reason and talk him down? Will Jasper listen to them? ****Where the hell is Bells when Edward needs her? And Rosalie...? Yeah, Edward probably does not want her to show up. That's like adding fuel to the flame (pun intended.) And you have to know father figure Carlisle is on his way home after he talks to Reneesme, who is most likely cowering in her room, crying for her mama.**


	10. Burn Baby Burn

He searched the top of the mantle.

"Jasper, bro, come on," Emmett's grip on Edward's arms loosened, "you don't have to light that thing.

Let's just rip him apart, keep him apart for a few hours… hide his arms or legs for a few days or something."

Jasper glared at Emmett. "You of all people should understand why I have to do this." He crouched down in front of the fireplace.

* * *

"Mom," Reneesme blubbered into her phone, "you have to come home NOW.

I called grandpa but he—he's not answering his cell and I left messages and a message at the hospital but he-he-he…"

Bella frowned. "Baby, calm down and tell me what's wrong."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at Bella and mouthed 'what' as she placed a plastic bag full of organic apples in the grocery basket.

Bella shook her head, shrugged her shoulders.

"Dad and Alice were— and then Emmett tried to tear Daddy's head off and now Jasper's here and he's going to, he's going to-to-to…"

* * *

Carlisle shrugged out of his lab coat and hung it up in his office as he scrolled through his phone book and selected Reneesme's name; his call went to voice mail.

"Reneesme, this is Carlisle. The hospital operator passed along your message about an emergency. I'm on my way home. Please call me when you receive my message."

Carlisle scrolled up the phone list and located Alice's name, but that call went over to voicemail as well.

He growled his annoyance. What was the point in having cell phones if no one answered?

* * *

"Take a deep breath baby and tell me what Jasper is going to do."

Reneesme's breath hitched as she said, "Daddy had sex with Alice and now he's going to put him in the fireplace."

Rosalie looked at Bella in shock. Edward and Alice?

"What… did you, did you, did…" Bella stopped herself and inhaled deeply. She sounded like human Bella again—the girl who couldn't utter two sentences without stumbling over her words (or her own two feet for that matter.)

She was suddenly angry. "Did Emmett put you up to this? Because it's not funny, and so help me God—"

"No! I would never joke about something like this," Reneesme cried.

* * *

"Don't you let him go." The sound of Jasper's voice was quiet calm as he stoked the fire but there was no mistaking the underlying command.

This wasn't his brother, Alice's Jasper, speaking.

This was Jasper Whitlock.

Major Jasper Whitlock.

And Emmett felt compelled to obey.

He looped his arms around Edward, pinning his arms to his sides.

Emmett trembled against Edward. "Wh-what are you doing to me?"

"He's putting the fear of God into you," Edward muttered, trying to ignore the gnawing clawing fear in his own gut.

All courtesy of Jasper.

Jasper appeared in front of Edward and clamped his hand around his bottom jaw, wrenching it back and forth until Edward was squirming in pain.

_All that you've seen in my thoughts? ...is nothing compared to the reality of the pain you are going to experience when I dismember you digit by digit, piece by piece, section by section, and you smell yourself burning to ash._

* * *

Esme dug in her heels to keep pace with Alice as they raced toward the cottage, but the guttural scream she heard coming from Edward made her run faster and she passed Alice, flew through the open front door.

She crouched, ready to pounce, to defend her first son.

"Esme," Edward breathed.

Jasper looked over his shoulder as Alice sprinted past Esme and launched herself at him.

* * *

"What is going on?" Rosalie asked as she followed Bella outside the grocery store. "I heard Nessie say Edward—"

"I don't know," Bella snapped, cutting her off because she couldn't bear to hear it again.

Not Edward. Not her Edward. There was some mistake. A prank. A lie.

It was anything but the truth.

Bella slid into the passenger's seat of Rosalie's car and slammed the door. "Just drive. Fast."

* * *

Alice pried Edward's severed fingers from Jasper's grasp and tossed them. They rolled and skittered across the floor toward Esme.

Jasper removed Alice's arm from around his neck and set her on her feet, but she clung to his middle with all her strength, anchoring him to the spot.

"You know I'm stronger than you," he growled, "let go."

Alice squeezed him more tightly. "Think about what you're going to do. You can't take it back."

"I don't want to take it back!" His voice was loud in the small room and both Emmett and Edward flinched.

* * *

Carlisle parked his Mercedes outside the garage and quickly ascended the front steps.

"Esme? Alice? Reneesme?" He spotted Esme's cell phone on the floor and crouched down to retrieve it as his own phone vibrated.

"Bella, Reneesme had me paged overhead at the hospital, but I've not been able to—"

"Jasper's hurting Edward!"

Carlisle stood up and slid Esme's phone in his front pocket. "I'm at the house now and I don't—"

"They're at the cottage! Reneesme said Jasper lit the fireplace; that he's going to burn him." She swallowed the venom that had collected in her mouth. "Please Carlisle, you have to hurry!"

* * *

Carlisle stood next to Esme, briefly assessing the situation. Yes, indeed, the fireplace had been lit and he noticed Esme was cradling four fingers in her palm. Edward's.

"I am going to destroy you for thinking you had any right touching Alice. She's mine, my wife, not yours!" Jasper struggled against Alice's hold on him, dragging her with him.

_Edward, what has Jasper so agitated?_

Edward's gaze flicked to Carlisle's.

The last time Carlisle had seen that much fear in his eyes was when the Volturi had threatened to destroy Reneesme.

Carlisle approached at human speed. "Jasper, son… whatever it is I'm sure we can—"

"There is no fixing this." Jasper bared his teeth at Carlisle; then he reached out and gripped Edward's shoulders.

Edward winced as he felt and heard his joints grinding in their sockets. Carlisle placed his palm against Jasper's forearm. "Son, there is always a way—"

Jasper back-handed him with his fist.

The blow didn't hurt but it was unexpected, strong and swift. It stunned and staggered him, knocking him to the floor.

Esme and Alice both gasped.

Emmett growled and charged, pushing Edward forward.

Jasper reached back and pushed Alice away from him.

Edward planted his feet firmly against the floor and shouted, "Emmett, stop!" but Emmett ignored him, hell-bent on getting his hands on Jasper.

Edward pushed back against Emmett, but Emmett's outrage made him even stronger; Edward collided into Jasper.

* * *

He swallowed his scream as Jasper's teeth sank into the area of above his collarbone and gritted his teeth as the dull heaviness of the venom spread out and ignited.

It flamed up and down the left side of his neck and burned across his shoulder and chest. Emmett shoved at Jasper's head and this time Edward did scream.

Jasper spit out Edward's flesh.

Carlisle was on his feet and tried to wedge himself in between Edward and Jasper as Emmett reached across Edward's shoulder and swiped at Jasper's head.

"Emmett, back off." Carlisle grasped Edward's arm in an attempt to extricate him from between Jasper and Emmett; Jasper latched his fingers into Edward's shoulder.

The four of them struggled with each other: Emmett lunging and swinging at Jasper, Edward pushing back against Emmett and trying to escape Jasper, Jasper avoiding Emmett's strikes and twisting Edward's shoulder,

and Carlisle pulling on Edward's other arm.

They stumbled and lurched and came crashing down in a mound of bodies in front of the fireplace.

* * *

The fall triggered something long dormant in Jasper: his rational mind faded and battle instincts took over.

He snarled, growled, and hissed at Edward. He was in a good position to pull off his head.

* * *

Emmett thought it was like some switch had flipped on (or off) in Jasper's head.

As disgusted as he was with Edward for what he'd done to Alice, he couldn't allow Jasper to rip his brother to shreds, to permanently end his existence.

* * *

He was lying face down, on top of Carlisle, trapped underneath a wildly, out-of-control Jasper, and Emmett was crushing them all down.

And all he could do was listen to the sound of his head being separated from his neck.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know...another evil place to leave off a chapter but I wanted to get something posted (finally!). The scenes are choppy scenes b/c I had to mobilize everyone and get them on their way to the cottage. Does Emmett stop Jasper from tossing Edward's head into the fire? They are right in front of it. And why didn't I mention Carlisle, who's at the bottom of the pile up? Hmmmm.....**


	11. Nowhere Near Over

Esme and Alice were holding each other, watching the scuffle move in the direction of the fireplace and away momentarily before pitching toward the fireplace again.

Carlisle, Edward, Jasper and Emmett crashed toward the floor in a tangle of limbs and Esme saw wisps of violet smoke curling out from the fireplace.

Thick dread seeped into her stomach and welled up in her chest.

_Someone's on fire._

That singular realization prodded her to action.

She darted toward the writhing mangle of bodies, her eyes skimming down and across the confusion of heads, torsos, splayed legs and arms.

Edward's head rocked back and forth as Jasper's hands twisted his neck.

She saw that Emmett had managed to work his arms inside Jasper's but each time he tried to break Jasper's grip on Edward's neck, Jasper would crack him in the face with the back of his head,

or he would snap his teeth at Emmett's arms forcing him to pull back and lose precious tension on Jasper's arms. She saw Carlisle's right hand gripping Edward's left shoulder and pushing.

Her gaze slid past Edward and locked on her husband's beautiful face… except his typically serene expression was gone.

* * *

Carlisle clenched his teeth and pressed his lips together, the scream strangled to a rumbling guttural groan in his throat.

As Emmett, Jasper, and Edward had surged in his direction, he'd thrown out his arm to brace his hand against the wall above the fireplace,

but then Edward had collapsed under the combined mass of Emmett's and Jasper's weight at his back and had taken him down with him as well.

Now his left shoulder was pinned against the floor and everything from just above his elbow to his fingertips was immersed in the flames.

* * *

A quick glance in the flames was all it took for Esme to see that most of his shirt sleeve had been consumed by the flames; his bare arm was no longer pale white but a light gray with dark purple mottling.

"Edward, Carlisle's arm is in the fire!"

She didn't know why she called on Edward to help. She could plainly see that he was pinned beneath Jasper.

* * *

Edward arms were behind him and his fingers scrabbled and clawed, seeking purchase beneath Jasper's in an attempt to pry them loose.

He heard Esme telling him that Carlisle's arm was in the fire but, with Jasper pressing down on him with his body and crushing his neck between his hands, he was helpless to do anything about it.

Or to speak to tell Esme he was in no position to do anything about it.

He focused his eyes on Carlisle's face, the agonized expression, and decided that he had to do something.

* * *

Emmett heard Esme tell Edward that Carlisle was on fire.

He slipped his arms from between Jasper's so he could take hold of him and lift him off Edward to get to Carlisle.

At the exact moment Edward released his hold on Jasper's hands so he could use his own hands to press himself up and off Carlisle to give him room to pull his arm from the fire.

Jasper now had unencumbered access to Edward's neck and he howled in triumph as he separated Edward's head from his body and hurled it toward the fireplace.

* * *

Bella urged Rosalie to keep driving straight to the cottage.

She scoffed. "Bella, the M3 is not an off-road vehicle."

"Who cares!"

"I do when the oil pan is punctured, the break lines severed, and the undercarriage becomes a mess of twisted metal. And don't get me started on—"

Bella growled and kicked open the door, leaving behind a concave impression of her footwear.

She leaped from the car before Rosalie even had a chance to begin to break.

She ran toward the cottage and bolted through the front door, stopping short as Jasper dropped onto his back in front of her and Emmett slammed down on top of him.

Her attention was immediately drawn to Reneesme, screaming and clutching the doorframe to her room.

Then she saw the violet-tinged smoke.

She unleashed her shield concentrating on Edward as she let it fly toward the fireplace.

* * *

Rosalie came to an abrupt stop behind Bella and gaped at her husband sprawled on top of Jasper, pinning him against the floor.

"I know you're pissed off, so am I, but stop struggling… and calm down and maybe I'll let you up," Emmett said.

Rosalie frowned when she saw Carlisle leaning on Esme for support as they made their way over to the small sofa.

She leaned over Jasper, her face close to his and snarled, "What did you do?" She looked at Emmett. "Did he bite Carlisle?"

Emmett was shaking his head and Jasper said, "What? I wouldn't—"

"Well something is clearly wrong with him and you're the one Emmett's holding down."

"Rose, just… back off Jasper for a minute, okay?"

Rosalie glared at Emmett.

"Please, babe... just one minute."

She stood up and huffed, crossing her arms as Bella brushed past her.

* * *

Alice caught Edward's head as it bounced off Bella's shield and bent down on her knees to re-attach it.

Edward's eyes blinked and rolled rapidly in their sockets before slowing and then focusing.

He smiled up at the heavenly vision hovering over him. "Alice," he breathed.

He reached up to caress her lips with his fingers, but Bella was there, shoving her aside.

She looked down at him, panicked; his eyes widened. "Bella!"

She kissed his lips and touched her forehead to his. "When I saw the smoke I thought—"

"Carlisle." He pushed Bella and sat up swiftly.

* * *

Alice crouched down next to Emmett and ran her fingers through Jasper's hair.

"Have you cooled off?" Emmett asked him.

"Enough."

Emmett glanced at Alice and she nodded. "All right, I'm going to let you up but the instant you make a move toward Eddie I'm all over you again, got it?"

"Yes."

Emmett pushed himself off Jasper.

* * *

"He's over here," Esme said.

Carlisle was sitting hunched over on the sofa, guarding his left arm with his right.

Esme sat to his right rubbing his upper arm. Reneesme had her face buried against his left shoulder, crying.

Edward crouched down in front of Carlisle. "How bad?"

"It's fine." Carlisle gave Edward a weak smile.

Edward touched his daughter's knee. "Reneesme, move."

She ignored him and snaked both arms around Carlisle's neck.

"Reneesme," Edward growled.

She tightened her embrace.

Carlisle said quietly, "Reneesme, do as you father tells you."

She glared up at Edward, shooting him a look of animosity and hatred that he recognized as one of Rosalie's.

He frowned. "You heard Carlisle." He gave her an impatient look as he waited.

"I hate you!" Reneesme jumped up and shoved past Edward.

"Nessie," Bella gasped.

Tears streaked down her face. "It's all his fault Carlisle's hurt and he knows it!"

Bella, Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie all looked at her, puzzled by her declaration.

Bella gave her daughter a dark look. "That is no way to speak to your father."

"Carlisle is more my father than he is!" She wiped her face with her hands and then on her jeans.

"Go to your room. Now."

She marched to her bedroom and slammed the door.

_Wait until she finds out what you and Alice did…_

Edward stared at the floor. Bella grasped his hand in both hers and said, "She didn't mean it. She's upset, that's all."

"Bella's right, Edward." _You__ are her father and nothing can change that…_

He nodded then said, "Bella, bring me some wet towels and a basin of water. Esme, help Carlisle take off his shirt."

"Edward, this isn't necessary."

Rosalie and Emmett drifted away from Alice and Jasper and closer to the sofa.

Esme unbuttoned the front of Carlisle's shirt and unfastened the three buttons at his wrist and with her help he pulled his right arm from the sleeve.

He gave her a small smile. "I won't be able to move this arm so you'll have to tear off the remainder of the shirt."

She stood and ripped the shoulder seam and when she peeled it away purplish-black flakes sloughed off Carlisle's arm.

"Damn." Jasper's voice was low but everyone heard him.

Esme covered her mouth with her hands and turned away.

Carlisle placed his right hand on her hip rubbed his thumb against the fabric of her skirt. "Perhaps it would be better if you didn't see this."

Esme shook her head and walked toward the kitchen.

Edward took the damp towels and basin from Bella. "Bella, Rosalie go with Esme… make sure she's all right."

"You're not the only one who's been to medical college," Rosalie snapped. "I'm staying."

Edward scowled at her. "Fine. Hand me that basin."

Rosalie picked up the plastic, rectangular tub and pushed Edward aside with her hip. "If I'm not mistaken my diploma says M.D., not R.N., the same as yours."

Edward backed up and let Rosalie place the basin on the sofa to Carlisle's left.

Carlisle studied his ruined arm with clinical detachment for a few moments then pulled off his wedding band and slid it in his trouser pocket.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Jasper said.

Edward, Rosalie and Emmett turned to look at him. "And what would you know about treating burn victims?" Edward asked sarcastically.

Jasper ignored Edward and directed his response to Carlisle. "You don't want any more flesh—skin-- coming off…not anymore than you have to… it's better to wrap it."

Carlisle glanced at the blackened flakes on the sofa, his trousers, the carpet and then at the basin of water.

Jasper was correct, of course.

What flesh he'd already lost would not regenerate.

He had to keep as much of his skin intact—no matter how charred or destroyed it looked.

Edward heard Carlisle's internal assessment of Jasper's recommendation and his approval.

He narrowed his eyes at Jasper for a fraction of a second before looking away from him.

"I'll get the gauze," he muttered.

Alice gently pulled Jasper away from the path to the front door; Emmett walked next to Edward putting himself in between the two.

Edward felt a hot stab of anger from Jasper and then heard his thought: _This is nowhere near over_.

* * *

**A/N: I thought the actions sequences were okay, so any of you writers who are good at those please PM me or review w/ suggestions on how to write them better. Sorry about the anti-climatic ending but I bit off more than **

**I could chew with all those POVs. Next up: Carlisle and Esme get to the bottom of the melee; Emmett second guesses himself when he tries to explain what he saw, and Jasper wonders why Alice won't tell everybody what**

**Edward did to her.**


	12. The Truth You Can't Erase

**The Truth You Can't Erase**

_I'd better go with him...Jasper might get some crazy idea… attack him at the house while everyone's distracted with Carlisle._

"Thank you." Edward glanced over at Emmett.

"I wouldn't be thanking me just yet."

Edward frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Bella's home now." _And Rosalie… I can't --won't-- fight her off …not like I did Jasper…_

Edward relaxed a little. "And?"

"I don't think Jasper's discussing the weather with her. Do you?"

"I didn't do," Edward looked away, "what Alice said."

He looked at Emmett again. "Did it look like I was…?" He couldn't even say the word. Edward shoved his hands in his pockets, bowed his head.

_She felt guilty, that's all_.

Like he should be feeling—because Jasper was going to tell Bella— but the problem was he didn't feel any guilt for having indulged himself, for professing his love to Alice, for letting her feel his love for her through the physical act.

Edward saw Emmett reviewing, in his own mind, what it had looked like.

_Alice's legs wrapped securely around Edward's waist, her hips meeting his thrust for thrust, her head thrown back over the edge of the bed, eyes closed tightly, mouth open gasping, hands grasping Edward's neck._

Had he misinterpreted her sobbing, the long shower?

She never did come out and say Edward had forced her.

In fact, all she'd said was: 'You can't tell Jasper.'

* * *

"Alice…Jasper, what happened?" Carlisle spoke softly, addressing Alice first—out of habit— knowing she would answer for Jasper, and he would allow it.

Jasper's grip on Alice's hand tightened. "He raped Alice, that's what happened." His voice was low but fierce.

"Jasssperrrr." Alice yanked down on his arm and regarded him with sad eyes.

Carlisle let Jasper's words wash over him, but Rosalie had stopped in mid-stride, on her way toward the kitchen to dump out the water from the wash basin.

She clenched her fist, warping the plastic tub; causing water to spill over the side and spatter down onto the floor.

Alice buried her face against Jasper's chest. "You promised."

He pulled her away from him, ducked his head so he was eye-level with her. "You should've never let me make that promise knowing there was no way in hell I could keep it."

* * *

Bella sat across from Esme at the small, round table in the kitchen.

She chewed on her bottom lip—a habit from when she was a human.

"I'm sure he's going to be all right. Edward and Rosalie and Carlisle… they'll figure out something."

Esme looked at her hands. "How is he going to work?"

"I thought the family was all set, you know, with Alice's insight into the stock market?"

Esme shook her head and looked up at Bella.

"That's not what I meant. I couldn't care less about the money, but healing is Carlisle's calling. What if he can't do it anymore?"

"Oh, I didn't think about—"

Jasper's voice interrupted Bella: "He raped Alice, that's what happened."

Bella and Esme locked gazes for a moment before pushing back their chairs and darting into the living room.

* * *

Carlisle blinked. There must be some mistake. Edward would never do something so vile… so despicable. "Jasper, are you certain—"

"Yes," he hissed, "she made me promise not to hurt him; then she told me." He gave Alice a dark look. "Probably thinking—hoping—that I wouldn't go back on my word."

"Alice, how can you stand there and let Jasper say something like that about Edward?" Bella looked at Carlisle.

"He was nothing but a gentleman when I was human. And nothing but gentle our wedding night. He would never do something like that!"

"I'm sorry, Bella," Alice whispered. "I tried—"

"What Jasper's saying doesn't make any sense. You would have seen it before it happened!"

Alice shook her head. Edward hadn't debated or planned. He simply did.

There was no foresight for impulsive acts. Just the spiraling, rolling, roiling consequences in the aftermath of the deed.

Alice gripped Jasper's waist more tightly.

"Why don't we let Alice tell us what happened," Carlisle suggested.

"Jasper, I don't want to… I can't... it's too hard…" Alice spoke so softly he almost couldn't hear her.

He certainly couldn't understand her reluctance. She should be angry like he was. Hell, furious.

But all he felt from her was remorse. Then her small body was shaking and he realized she was sobbing.

Rosalie stepped forward and laid a hand on Alice's shoulder. "Tell me then."

Alice turned and threw her arms around Rosalie, burying her face against her shoulder. She nodded. She told her—them—about Edward playing the piano.

"Do you remember the first time he showed me how to play?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Of course… you weren't following any of the rules…you were making it up as you went along, and I envied your wild abandonment…you played so effortlessly and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard.

And you somehow had Edward breaking all the rules too, and I was jealous of that as well."

Jasper felt resentment from Bella, and surprise from Carlisle and Esme. He was mildly shocked at Rosalie's confession himself.

"He wanted to kiss me," Alice looked back at Jasper, "I saw it. But I got off the piano bench before he could do it. He grabbed my hand and,"

Alice lowered her eyes and her voice, "I told him you would kill him if you came into the room and saw him touching me."

Her eyes met his and she could see Jasper was recalling those first few months as the new members of the Cullen family.

_So that's when Edward's infatuation with his wife began._

"Edward was playing… I searched for you, but I couldn't see anything… you must have been actively hunting."

Alice hugged herself to Rosalie and squeezed her eyes shut. "I was lying on my bed, thinking, remembering; I didn't notice he'd stopped playing; then he was scooping me up in his arms." Alice glanced back at Jasper.

"I thought it was you, but I'd just seen your decision to carry Esme across the river," she smiled at him and his gaze left hers briefly to look at Esme. Esme slid her hand into Carlisle's.

She skipped over the part where Edward had taken advantage of her vision-induced trance to strip open the top of her dress and gain access to her breasts—for Bella's and Nessie's sake and

because she knew it would enrage Jasper to the point that the Volturi and their army would not be able to stop him from shredding Edward.

She also decided not to repeat what Edward had told her about Jasper's agonizing need for her; his comparison of their marriage, their bond of love, with Maria's binding of Jasper with her gift, using his own gift against him,

making him believe he couldn't survive without her, or his absurd suggestion that Jasper was using his own gift to force her to love him.

Alice glanced up at Rosalie. "I saw what he wanted," her chin quivered, "then he took it."

"No!" Bella slammed her hand against the wall and through it. "I don't believe you! I thought you were my best friend—my sister—why are you telling us these lies about Edward?"

"She isn't," Jasper said through clenched teeth as he pulled Alice into his arms.

Esme gripped Carlisle's hand in both hers. Edward was always such a nice boy. She never once saw him act like a cad. Not with Rosalie. Not with Tanya. Not with Alice.

* * *

Emmett stopped juggling the rolls of gauze, catching them one by one. _They've been talking…_

Edward stopped walking when he heard Bella scream at Alice, "No, I don't believe you!" Then he heard Esme: _Edward was always such a nice boy... _and Carlisle: _There has to be a logical explanation… _

and Bella: _he would never do that to me, to Nessie… _and Rosalie: _Royce's face contorted in a sneer, spittle flying as he calls her a filthy whore, he strikes her mouth with his fist when she screams… _and Reneesme: _Oh my god…_

They all stared at him when he and Emmett walked through the front door.

Rosalie sauntered toward them, never taking her eyes off Edward, and collected the gauze from Emmett, the clear cellophane packaging cracking and crinkling as she gripped them in her hands.

_Edward. _His gaze flicked toward Carlisle. _Jasper's accused you of a truly monstrous act._

His eyes locked on Jasper's as he answered Carlisle. "I know."

Edward walked toward Bella, reaching out his arm and pulled her against his side.

He took a deep breath and exhaled; then looked Carlisle in the eye again. "We had sex—"

Bella wriggled out of Edward's embrace. "You… you.. what?"

Edward grabbed Bella's upper arms. "It was a mistake. Alice was remembering a particularly… ah… potent memory; I was caught up in it, as was she, and before we realized we'd gone too far, we'd crossed the line and—"

"That's a damn lie and you know it!" Jasper moved in front of Alice, took a couple of steps forward, but she grabbed the back of his shirt, his hand and he stopped.

He smirked at Jasper. "Emmett walked in us on, why don't you ask him if it looked like I was forcing anything on Alice."

Everyone looked at Emmett.

"Well, uh, you see…" He gave Rosalie a helpless look. _She's going to hate me if I get this wrong—either way… _

Jasper felt confusion and uncertainty from Emmett, smugness from Edward, and dismay from Alice.

_God help me… it looked like she was enjoying it…_

Edward smiled.

… _but the shower… _

"Emmett? Carlisle prodded.

Jasper studied Emmett. "He's uncertain. Whatever he has to say it's tainted."

He felt Edward's confidence swell. "You're just saying that because you want to believe the only way this could happen is if I forced myself between her legs."

Jasper growled at him as Bella turned away from Edward and buried her face in her hands.

Had Alice unwittingly seduced her husband with a memory? It seemed so far-fetched, but she was hard-pressed to come up with any other explanation.

"No," Alice's voice rang out. She stepped around Jasper. "I told you I didn't want you."

"You only said that because you were afraid that Jasper would find out."

Alice shook her head. "That's not true!"

Rosalie appeared in front of Edward and slapped him and was about to strike him again when Carlisle grabbed her wrist. "Rosalie, you know I don't condone violence."

She wrenched her wrist free and turned on Carlisle. "But rape is okay?"

"Rosalie, you know I would never condone any acts of violence and rape is an act of violence."

She glared at Carlisle for a moment then gave Emmett a fierce look. "So, let's have it. Was Alice screaming and you thought that meant she was having a good time?"

Just great. Now he was on the receiving end of Rosalie's wrath. "No! It's just—"

"Just what, Emmett? Edward's your brother so you're going to have his back?" She stomped her foot. "What about Alice?"

He suddenly felt this wasn't all about Alice. "Maybe I should talk to Carlisle alone," he mumbled.

"You can talk to him while I wrap his arm," Rosalie snapped.

"Esme, darling, please take Alice and Jasper back to the house. Edward, take Bella and Reneesme to your meadow and I'll call you when I'm ready to hear your side of this."

"I'm not going with him." Reneesme was standing in the doorway to her room with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. "I want to go with Alice.."

Carlisle looked at Edward and Bella. Edward pursed his lips then shrugged his shoulders.

He wasn't happy that his daughter didn't want to be around him, but having Bella alone, without Reneesme's interference, would make it easier for him to plead his case.

"All right then. Reneesme, you can go with Esme, Alice, and Jasper."

* * *

Rosalie crouched down in front of Carlisle and began wrapping his arm.

She shook her head, her golden locks brushing across her back. "I can't believe you're taking Edward's side."

Emmett reached down placed his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I'm not taking anybody's side, babe."

She shrugged off his hand. "Don't… touch me."

"Rosalie, why don't we let Emmett tell us what he saw before we make any judgments."

Emmett crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling. "They were in Alice and Jasper's room having sex."

He looked down at Carlisle. "At least, that's what I thought at first… until…"

"Yes… until what?" Carlisle prompted.

Emmett exhaled. "Until I heard Alice in the shower… she was crying."

Rosalie's hands froze for a moment then continued wrapping and securing the gauze.

"She told me I couldn't tell Jasper; I told her he was going to know something was wrong…" Emmett's gaze fell on the back of Rosalie's head. "The very next time he wanted to touch her and she pulled away…"

Rosalie quickly finished wrapping Carlisle's arm and stood up without looking at Emmett. She walked toward the front windows and crossed her arms, pretending to be engrossed with something outside.

Emmett looked at his feet. "I was going to pull his head off." He glanced back at Rosalie. "I was trying. But Jasper got here and when he lit that thing…" Emmett looked over at the cold stone fireplace now marred with black soot.

"… all the fight went out of me." Emmett hung his head. "I'm sorry, Rosalie."

* * *

Edward followed behind Bella until they reached their meadow. He quickly approached her. She turned and slapped him hard enough his head jerked violently left. "Is everything you've ever told me a lie?"

Edward frowned. "What? No." He grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eye. "You are my life… my existence. You and Reneesme."

"And Alice?"

"No." He looked over her head and exhaled. "I told you… that was a mistake."

"What was she remembering?"

His eyes met hers. "What?"

"Back at the cottage you said you were both caught up in some memory. Have the two of you been… together? Before?"

Edward glanced away.

"Oh my god, Edward. You have!"

* * *

**A/N: Oooo, cliffhanger, I know, that sucks! But the draft of this chapter was topping at well over 4,000 words and still going and this was the logical place to break it up. The good news is that I have the majority of the next chapter written. The bad news is that the story will not be completed in 13 chapters. Sorry about that, but I hope you keep reading. :) And reviewing (cough, cough) :))**


	13. Suffer Well

**A/N: This chapter takes place in the past**

**Suffer Well**

"Maybe you should let him go." Edward pulled up a piece of bark from the fallen tree they were sitting on and tossed it.

Alice turned to face him. "But we're supposed to be together."

"I know, I know. He was one of the first things you saw when you woke up to this," he indicated the vampire state.

"But can't you also see the battle he's fighting against his thirst is too difficult for him? I don't think he's going to ever be able to give up human blood completely."

_But he was doing so well when it was just the two of us…_

"And now he's feeding more than he should need to."

She couldn't argue with Edward on that point.

Jasper had been sneaking out of the house every night on the pretense that he needed to be alone, untouched by anyone else's emotions.

"You know Rosalie's furious at the number of times we've had to move because of him, and Carlisle would never say anything, but it doesn't look good for him when he has to change hospitals so frequently."

"I know he can do this_._" _ I've seen it…_

"Haven't you always said people change their minds?"

"We could go to Alaska. There are fewer humans…" _he could start over and when he's built up an immunity we could come back…_

Edward laughed. "Is that what you call it?"

"What do you call it?"

"I simply tolerate it, but I'm certainly not immune to it, and you shouldn't expect Jasper will be either."

* * *

The Cullen diet had taken its toll on him: he was irritable at the best of times and irrational at the worst.

Right now he was cross with her because she'd caught him leaving through the window in their bedroom.

"I'm not some damn newborn, Alice," he hissed, "I'm decades older than you!"

She sighed. "I know, but I think it might be easier for you in Alaska."

"Me?" He climbed back inside the window. "You're not coming?"

"Edward thinks—"

"Oh, Edward thinks! Edward, why don't you mind your own god-damned business!"

"Jasperrr… Carlisle," she reminded him.

He turned away from her and gripped the window sill.

"Why don't I just go to Texas?" He glanced over his shoulder at her. "I'm sure Maria would be thrilled to take me back." _Just as I am._

He turned his attention back to the darkness outside.

"You don't mean that. I know you don't mean that."

Alice rubbed his back lightly, her fingers tracing the ridges of the multitude of scars hidden beneath his shirt.

"Maybe I'm tired of fighting what I am, Alice. Have you ever thought about that?"

"I know you can do this. I've seen it. You just need more time, more space."

Jasper let out a bitter laugh at her choice of words.

He'd used those same words when the thin-tasting animal blood inflamed the ever-present thirst instead of diminishing it like it had in the beginning,

when his craving—no, his need—for the soothing, heavy richness of human blood over-ruled his rational mind,

when the burning ache in his throat and the bloodlust became too much to bear.

"More space… you see where that's gotten me."

"I meant more open space with fewer humans."

"I know what you meant," he snapped. She felt his irritation flare out at her.

"Will you consider it? For me?"

The thought of being separated from Alice for even a day wrenched his gut.

He turned around and looked down at her. "I don't think I can do this on my own, Alice."

She stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around him, pressing her cheek against his. "Then I'll go with you."

* * *

"He's using her as a crutch," Edward said. "He needs to do this on his own if he's going to do it all."

Carlisle considered Edward's words carefully. Their lifestyle was a choice, not always an easy one, and Jasper had made an earnest effort during most of the first year.

But now he was struggling and backsliding and putting them in constant danger of being discovered.

His nearly steady diet of human blood was also making Jasper more aggressive and that alarmed him, especially since Edward refused to heed his warnings when it came to spending time with Alice.

"I'm not certain Jasper would agree to leave without Alice."

"Who said anything about leaving? He's just going away for a while."

Carlisle raised his eyebrows.

"Until he gets his thirst under control, that's all."

_Are you certain that is the only reason you want him out of the house?_

Edward frowned and looked down at Carlisle's desk. "Yes, of course."

He looked up at Carlisle, the frown still on his face. "I've heard you asking yourself about how much longer you can allow Jasper to live here if he doesn't correct his actions,

and Alice is torn between wanting to stay with us and her obligation to Jasper." Edward wouldn't mind if Jasper left, but he didn't want Alice to leave, and he knew she would if Carlisle decided Jasper was no longer welcome.

Carlisle smiled. _Obligation? They are man and wife, Edward._

"I know and she is bound to stand by him, even if that means putting her own wishes behind his."

Carlisle chuckled and leaned back in his chair. _Ah, Edward… you do know Esme runs this household, yes?_

"Of course, that's what she does." He was confused by Carlisle's sudden change in topic.

He could tell by the look on Edward's face that he didn't get it.

Carlisle sat up in his chair and leaned forward. "Take a look around my office."

Edward gave him a questioning look but complied.

"Now compare it with the rest of the house."

Edward shrugged. "Okay, what am I missing?"

Carlisle reached forward and patted his hand. "Never mind, Edward."

_You'll understand one day when you're married._

* * *

Jasper clutched Alice's hands in his and tried to reign in his anxiety.

The thought of her leaving him here alone in Alaska distressed him.

"I can't do this without you," he choked out so quietly that only she could hear him.

She smiled up at him and concentrated on pushing love and adoration toward him so her own feelings of loss and sadness would not touch him and overwhelm him.

"I'll come see you in a week, I promise."

"Why can't you stay?" He gripped her hands more tightly and she felt his despair settle over her and physically weigh her down.

She pressed her small body into his. Jasper wrapped his arms around her holding her in a fierce embrace.

"They're going to take you up farther north to hunt polar bears, doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Please," his voice trembled, "stay with me."

She wanted to give in and say 'yes', but Carlisle wanted Jasper to spend at least a week without her, to see if her absence had any effect—positive or negative—on his determination to control his thirst.

She had told Carlisle she didn't think it was a good idea—she'd seen flashes of Jasper withdrawing from the Denalis and into himself—but she found herself unable and unwilling to tell Carlisle no when he'd politely

asked her to indulge his curiosity.

Alice stood up on her toes and kissed Jaspers' mouth with all the love and passion she felt for him, and for once, Jasper ignored the fact they had an audience, and returned her kiss.

"I will be back for you a week from today. And then we can go home." She winked at him.

* * *

Edward glanced through the window and saw Alice standing out back in about a foot of snow with no coat on.

"You're not exactly dressed for winter weather. What are the neighbors going to think if they see you?"

He draped a coat over her summer dress and noticed she wasn't wearing any shoes. "What are you doing out here?"

"He's decided it's too hard… that he makes me too unhappy…that he won't ever be able to stop… and he's a monster because he knows what it feels like and still he can't stop himself…"

She looked up at Edward. "I was going to follow him, but I can't tell where he's going… he keeps changing his mind."

* * *

Esme closed Alice's bedroom door and shook her head. "She said she doesn't feel like hunting. Carlisle, I don't want to leave the poor girl alone."

Edward pulled off his hat and coat. "I'll stay."

Carlisle said, "You need to hunt if you're going to school tomorrow. Esme—"

"I'll go after you get back." He sat down in a chair and picked up a book.

* * *

Edward tapped on the door. "Alice, may I come in?"

"Yes." Alice was lying on her side, on the bed. The room was dark, but they could both see, so he didn't bother to turn on the lights.

He sat behind her on the bed. "Any luck locating him?"

She shook her head. "He's all over the place."

"What is he doing?"

_What do you think? _She let out a long sigh.

_Making up for lost meals. _He didn't say that out loud, though.

_Why couldn't I tell Carlisle no? I knew better…_

Edward smiled at the vexed tone of her thoughts. "Mmm, yes… Carlisle's hidden ability."

There was something about telling Carlisle "no" that seemed so inherently wrong, and Carlisle seemed to sense this and would use it, every now and then, to his benefit.

She sat up suddenly and crossed her legs. "I thought you said the Denalis were nice."

"Well… Jasper is a bit off-putting…especially with all those scars. And he's not exactly social."

Alice lowered her head. "I let him down—"

"No," Edward lifted her chin with his finger. "Jasper is the one who let you down by running away." _Some soldier…that's probably how he survived all those years…_

Alice's soft voice broke through his thoughts. "I feel so… empty. Do you mind holding me for a little bit?"

"No, I don't mind." Edward shifted on the bed so she could sit across his lap. She laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes.

After watching her mind rifle through snippets and segments of various futures for several minutes, Edward asked, "How does that not make you dizzy?"

Alice opened her eyes and sat up. She gave him a sheepish look. "I'm sorry, Edward… I didn't think—"

"I don't mind. It's kind of fascinating." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Do you mind if I try a little experiment?"

"What type of—" her voice cut off.

He watched himself kissing her then she was pushing him away, their lips breaking contact.

Alice blinked and so did Edward.

"That was… strange. I could almost feel you," his tongue darted out to wet his lips, "taste you."

Alice rolled on her hip to get off his lap. "I should--"

"Wait." He grabbed her waist with both hands and pulled her back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you off by showing you that. I was only curious."

"You didn't scare me." _You just reminded me that I shouldn't be sitting on your lap, that I shouldn't be asking you to comfort me when—_

Edward grabbed her face between his hands before she could even begin to think Jasper's name. "Let me taste you… just to see if it's the same."

Alice studied the earnest look on his face.

"Please."

She nodded and closed her eyes as Edward leaned his face close to hers.

He placed a tentative kiss against her lips and then another and, when she felt his tongue gliding along the place where her lips met, she instinctively opened her mouth.

He inhaled her scent.

Through his nose.

Through his mouth.

He moaned.

She pushed him away. "I think that's enough."

But it wasn't enough.

He growled and pushed her face down on the bed, clamping his teeth against the back of her neck at the shoulder, signaling his dominance over her.

She struggled and squirmed and pushed back on him but stopped when she felt him press himself into her and realized the reaction her movements were causing in Edward.

The back door opened and closed and Esme called out, "Edward, we're back."

He pushed himself away from Alice and was against the opposite wall the moment before Esme opened the bedroom door.

She glanced at Alice, sitting up on the bed, and then at Edward, standing upright against the wall. _Am I interrupting something here?_

He glanced at Esme and then looked at his feet. "No."

She turned her attention back to Alice and saw the bedclothes were rumpled. "Alice, is everything all right, dear?"

"Yes. Edward and I were just talking."

Esme studied Edward with a suspicious look on her face, but his hair and clothes were all in order so she said, "We're back now so you can go hunting. Come on, and leave Alice alone."

* * *

He watched.

And waited for her to drain the deer.

She stood up and turned in one fluid movement, the beaming smile on her face warming the cold ache in his chest and stomach.

"Jasper!"

Her feet barely skimmed the ground as she flew toward him at top speed and threw herself into him. He had to take a step back to keep her from bowling him over.

She climbed up him, wrapping her legs around his waist, tangled her hands in his curls and fastened her mouth over his. After a few minutes he broke the kiss and said, "Well, hello to you too."

Alice kissed him again, never wanting to stop, but she saw the Cullens would be approaching, so she tore her mouth away from Jasper's and slid down, standing next to his side, holding his hand in both of hers.

Before he had a chance to ask her, he heard them.

"Jasper, it's so good to see you," Esme said, and he felt her sincerity and warmness touch him.

Emmett was dragging Rosalie by the hand and when he saw Jasper he simply said, "Yes!"

He could feel Emmett's eagerness and Jasper immediately knew what that was about. He'd been showing Emmett how to fight, but Emmett had yet to best him.

He hadn't picked up on Emmett's competitive streak early on because it had been buried beneath his generally carefree emotional state.

Rosalie and Edward, on the other hand, were a different story: neither of those two felt happy to see him.

Jasper assessed Carlisle's mood: carefully neutral, as always, with surges of gladness (probably in response to Alice's obvious joy and happiness and Esme's words as well as Emmett's excitement)

and pinpoints of apprehension (most likely turning over both Rosalie and Edward's cool reception in his head.)

He squeezed Alice's hand and then met Carlisle's gaze and flooded him with his own feelings of determination. "I'm ready."

* * *

Jasper held Alice close to him on the bed. "I thought I was lost... the bloodlust was raging inside my head until it was the only thing I could think about or feel… but the more I fed…"

Alice's cheek brushed against his chest as she looked up at him. "What?"

"I could feel them again, when I wasn't as… hungry. And it was the worst feeling ever, worse than before… because now I knew there was another way and was turning my back on it. And you."

Alice nestled herself closer to him. "We don't have to wait for the others. We can hunt more if you need to. Whenever you need to."

He didn't relish the thought of gorging himself on animal blood, but the uncomfortable feeling of an overly distended stomach might help dissuade him from acting on his craving for human blood.

"I'm sorry I let Carlisle talk me into leaving you alone."

He tightened his arms around her. "Don't be. I think it may have helped, actually."

She looked up at him again. "How?"

He kissed her mouth. "Because I wasn't disappointing only myself this time, but you, and Esme, and Carlisle."

He felt her surprise. "You really care what Esme and Carlisle think."

"Yes, they're nice people."

Edward pushed off the wall next to Alice and Jasper's bedroom and shoved his hands in his pockets.

He stalked through the living room and went out the back door, slamming it.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows at Esme and she shrugged.


	14. Doubt

**A/N: I would have posted this 3 days ago but I kept getting an error msg.**

**But you, dear reader, may have benefited from that glitch b/c I took the extra time to go back and fill out the chapter.**

**I think the chapter is better for it.**

**Doubt**

"That's preposterous," Edward said, "Alice and I have never had a physical relationship."

"Until today," Bella said.

He exhaled, annoyed at himself for misspeaking. "Alice and I… we've always shared a special bond since the two of us both have gifts."

"Jasper does." She looked at him, her expression hurt. "I do."

He pressed his lips together then scrubbed his hands through his hair. "Fine. You want the truth?"

She looked scared, uncertain, but nodded anyway.

"It was after Jasper left. Alice asked me to—"

"He left her?" Bella scrunched her eyebrows together. She hadn't heard this story from Alice and they were best friends, sisters. "When was this?"

Edward frowned at her interruption. "About a year after they'd joined our family. Jasper was drinking human blood again, almost nightly, and Carlisle gave him the choice to go to Alaska or to leave."

Bella chewed on her lip. Her mind was telling her that Carlisle would never hand down an ultimatum masquerading as a choice, but Edward had been there, not her, so she nodded dumbly.

"He ran away soon after we'd left him in Alaska—"

"Alice didn't go with him?" Bella raised her eyebrows.

"No," Edward snapped.

"Why are you angry?" Bella narrowed her eyes and jutted out her chin. "You're the one who had sex with someone else, not me!"

Edward closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He opened them again as he exhaled. "I never wanted to tell anyone this," he said more softly, "because I'm deeply shamed by my action, my lack of control."

He gave Bella a pointed look.

* * *

"I feel so… empty. Do you mind holding me for a little while?"

"No, I don't mind."

She lay down on the bed. He looked at her outstretched arms and then glanced back at the closed door. "What are they going to think if they come back and see the two of us wrapped in each others' arms?"

She smiled up at him. "They won't."

He lay down next to her and she scooted close to him, pressing her body into his.

She closed her eyes and nestled her face against his chest.

He closed his own eyes and watched the dizzying chaos in Alice's mind, the fragments of various futures flipping swiftly then slowing until one image resolved itself and he saw the two of them kissing eagerly.

He snapped open his eyes and saw she was looking up at him.

_Have you ever kissed a girl before?_

"No."

Alice touched her lips to his, softly at first, then more insistently.

_Open your mouth._

He did and felt her tongue gliding along his bottom lip, the roof of his mouth and then caressing his tongue.

She slid her leg across his hip until her pelvis was flush with his and he felt something like an electric shock arc through him.

He involuntarily bucked into her and groaned into her mouth when she ground back against him. He rolled until she was on her back.

_No… like this._

* * *

Edward studied the ground.

"The moment she showed me how Jasper did it, I was no longer in control of myself…I was biting down on her neck and positioning myself behind her to, you know, and when Esme walked in—"

Bella's eyes widened. "She caught the two of you—"

He gave Bella a horrified look. "No! I didn't know what I was doing. I hadn't gotten that far, and I was off the bed before she even opened the door.

But, when I saw on Esme's face that she doubted me when I told her that nothing had happened," he pulled his ringing cell phone from his pocket, "I felt dirty…like some mindless rutting animal."

He slid open his phone. "Yes Carlisle. Yes. I'm on my way."

* * *

Jasper closed the back door; he hesitated, his hand still wrapped around the doorknob.

He could dart through the door now. Be at the cottage before Alice or Esme realized it. Carlisle was injured. And Rosalie would probably be on his side.

That left Emmett.

But how likely would he be to step in to defend Edward with Rosalie watching? And could he find it within himself to tear Edward apart in front of Carlisle?

No, he didn't think he would be able to do it, and Carlisle certainly would not allow it to just happen; he might actually lose the arm this time, and what would Esme think of him then?

He followed a few paces behind Alice as Esme led them to the living room.

"Reneesme, please go upstairs to your room."

"Why?" She had just plopped down onto the sofa.

"Because Jasper, Alice, and I have adult matters to discuss, and because I told you to."

Reneesme stood up and stomped up the stairs, muttering, "What difference does it make? I can still hear you in my room."

"Try not to," Esme called over her shoulder.

Esme pulled Alice into a hug. "Are you all right?"

Alice nodded. "Yes, I'm fine." She knew how much Edward meant to Esme, but she also knew how much more fierce Esme's protectiveness was when it came to Jasper and his feelings.

She wanted to assure Esme that everything would work out, but she couldn't speak so bluntly in front of Jasper. Not yet.

"I'm at a loss for words… I never thought Edward capable of doing something like this."

"Well he did," Jasper said, not looking at Esme, but glaring at the back wall.

Esme reached out her hand and placed it on his arm. "Jasper, you had every right to react the way you did, but I wish you would reconsider your actions."

Jasper clenched his jaw and shook his head slowly, unable to meet her gaze as he quietly denied her request.

Esme exhaled. "I don't want to see anybody else to get hurt."

He pulled back from her touch and Esme immediately felt guilt wash over her. "Jasper, I wasn't blaming you," she said softly. "That was an accident, but what you want—

Rosalie marched into the main house, her nostrils flaring and said, "You should kill him."

"Rosalie!" Esme gasped. "Jasper has no intention of doing such a thing!"

Emmett reached for Rosalie's hand and stroked her palm lightly with his thumb. "Babe, maybe you shouldn't get Jasper all worked up again."

"Fine," she snapped, ignoring Emmett, "Alice, I'll help you."

"And neither does Alice," Esme said, fixing Rosalie with a stern expression.

"What is wrong with the two of you?" Rosalie shouted. "Edward _**raped **_Alice! He shouldn't be allowed to get away with that! And you know he will.

He's talking to Carlisle right now and he'll weasel his way out of it. You know he will. He's Carlisle's favorite. There is no way in hell Carlisle is going to let any harm come to his perfect Edward!"

"Rosalie, that is quite enough," Esme said, glancing at Jasper to gauge his reaction.

Alice glanced at Jasper as well.

He was shaking with the effort to contain his fury and she knew Rosalie's words and her anger would surely cause him to boil over.

Alice grabbed Jasper's hand but he pulled his hand from her grasp before she could drag him from the room. "I am not a child!"

"I never said you were," Alice said softly.

Jasper took one look at Alice's hurt expression and pulled her into his arms.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't take my anger and frustration out on you." He glanced at Rosalie then looked Esme in the eye. "And Rosalie's right. I am going to kill him."

Alice lifted her head from his chest and said, "Jasper, no!"

"Do you doubt me?"

Alice'e eyes glazed over and she watched all the ways Jasper had conceived of to get Edward alone and vulnerable.

* * *

Edward sat on the sofa across from Carlisle, who had moved to one of the chairs.

"Do you think that… human blood… might help you heal more quickly?"

_Edward._

He grinned at the reproving tone of Carlisle's thought. "I meant the bagged blood."

"Perhaps." _However, I'm not confident that it would be wise for me to fully ingest human blood—donated or otherwise. Not after three centuries from abstaining…_

Edward nodded then asked, "Can you feel anything?"

_I'm not experiencing any pain or discomfort._

"I meant do you have any sensation?"

"Edward, let us discuss the matter at hand."

Carlisle's evasiveness was answer enough. Edward leaned forward, his elbows resting on his thighs and hissed, "This is all Jasper's fault."

Carlisle crossed his legs. "How so?"

He sat back. "If he wasn't such a hothead this," he gestured at Carlisle's arm, "wouldn't have happened."

"You did sleep with his wife, Edward." _Can you blame him for feeling a little put out?_

"A little put out?" He leaned forward slightly, his expression angry and incredulous. "He manipulated Emmett's emotions so he could use him against me, he was the one who lit the fireplace, the one you fell into, the same fireplace he

tossed my head at, and you ask me if I can blame him?"

Carlisle studied Edward then asked, "What made you decide to have sex with Alice?"

Edward leaned back fully against the sofa. "I didn't decide. She would have seen that."

_I thought you said it was consensual._

Edward sat in silence for a long moment, watching Carlisle's impassive expression as he quietly awaited Edward's answer.

He glanced at his hands, idly stroking the four fingers Jasper had torn off, the same four Alice had rescued from being tossed into the fire. Finally he said, "She was thinking about me."

"In what manner?"

"You know what manner." He knew his sulky tone probably made him sound like a petulant child.

"I see." _Emmett seems to think the act was not consensual._

"Oh, what does he know?" he growled, abruptly standing up and walking away from Carlisle. "He peeped in for less than a millisecond."

_If that's true then why the severe reaction to what Emmett thinks?_

Edward let his shoulders sag. "Why won't you believe me?"

"I never said that I don't believe you, Edward." _I want to._

"Then do!" He turned and fixed Carlisle with a desperate, but hopeful expression.

_I want to… with every fiber of my being, but—_

Edward bent on one knee next to Carlisle and cupped his face with right hand. He fixed his eyes on Carlisle's. "I cannot bear it, the thought of you doubting my word, my intent, the deed—"

Edward," Carlisle growled in warning, pulling Edward's hand away from his face with his uninjured hand. _That was a lifetime ago…and I will thank you not to throw my words back in my face…_

He moved closer, cradled Carlisle's face between his hands, and pressed his forehead against Carlisle's. "I was jealous… so jealous… you have no idea how mad with jealousy I was."

"Edward, I don't understand… " _you_ _rejected Rosalie… refused to have anything to do with her romantically. What would_ _you have had me do?_ _I told you… I was protecting you… when I realized— _

_she would have sought you_ _out and I knew you would not be able to handle her… not in the state she was in, not with your inexperience and her newborn strength still lingering—_

"No, not you." Edward grinned suddenly and shook his head. "I was jealous of her."

Surprise flickered across Carlisle's face before he composed his expression. "I see."

"Do you?" Edward searched Carlisle's eyes for understanding but he saw none.

"Edward, I—"

"It tortured me to see you in her mind…you on bent knee… in your office…your face buried in her—"

"Edward!" Carlisle's eyes widened. He'd taken care to ban all thoughts of Rosalie from his mind whenever Edward was around. Apparently Rosalie had not been as discreet.

He ran his thumb across Carlisle's lips. "I was your first. Not her." The petulant child had returned, but this time he didn't care. He wanted Carlisle to know he was hurt.

_Edward, this is unacceptable. You know this is unacceptable. I am the head of this household, no coven leader. Stop treating me like one._

He smiled at Carlisle and leaned in, but Carlisle quickly lifted his chin and turned his head aside.

Edward placed a firm, open-mouth kiss on his neck then used his teeth like he'd seen Esme do in Carlisle's thoughts.

Carlisle was able to stifle his moan but was not capable of repressing the immediate erection Edward's mouth and teeth on the front his neck had caused.

He felt Edward's hand cup then squeeze his crotch. "Edward, that is enough!" He gripped Edward by the neck and pushed him with enough force to send him and the sofa toppling backward and sliding into the wall.

He'd never had the opportunity to witness Carlisle asserting his strength or power in a physical manner, so he was taken aback at how easily he had thrown him off.

Carlisle wrapped his hand around Edward's throat and slammed his head against the wall the moment Edward had stood up. _Edward, are you listening to me?_

Edward nodded. "Yes, Carlisle," he answered meekly, and this seemed to help soften the furious look so out of place on Carlisle's face.

"I understand that you cannot help what you see and what hear in other people's minds, but that does not give you the right to use that information for your benefit."

He released Edward. _You disappoint me, son._

Edward grabbed his arm as he turned to leave. "Carlisle, I didn't realize—"

"You should have. I'm certain that you've seen Esme do it to me enough times." Carlisle pried Edward's fingers from his damaged arm and walked toward the front door.

_Just know that you've taken that from us. And you've made me feel tainted._

He turned and looked at Edward. "I suggest that you tell Bella the two of you will be joining Tanya and her family in Denali for an unspecified amount of time."

"What about Reneesme?"

"She will remain with us."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so that concludes Ch 14. Moving on to Ch 15 (and hopefully some closure in this century!)**


	15. A Distraction From The Truth

**A/N: Apologies for time between updates but I had the opposite of writer's block: I had so many directions that I could take this chapter**

**that the storyline had gotten lost in the possibilities. I worked on pulling in the reins so we didn't continue to stray too far off the story path. Hope you like it.**

**A Distraction from the Truth**

Carlisle had learned, over the decades, to quiet his mind when he concentrated so Edward had to listen until he could no longer hear Carlisle's physical presence moving through the forest.

He turned and kicked at the sofa, shattering it at the point of impact.

"You idiot! What were you thinking throwing Rosalie in his face like that!"

He knew the subject was a particularly sore spot with Carlisle, but he'd hoped to make him understand that Alice had a similar pull on him.

Except he was in love with Alice.

Hopelessly.

Helplessly.

Irrevocably.

* * *

"Jasper, bro, you can't talk like that. Carlisle…he'll make you leave."

Jasper shot Emmett a bitter look.

"What other choice is there for him to make?"

At least, this way, Carlisle could maintain some semblance of fairness.

He owed the man that much.

Not too many of their kind would have graciously allowed some battle-scarred vampire into their coven, much less a permanent residence, a home, a family.

He pulled Alice against him, wrapping her in his arms, shielding her.

"I'm sorry but I won't leave you. Not with him here."

He spoke softly and allowed all his regret to wash over her while carefully holding back the rage and frustration.

Alice looked up at him. "Jasper, wait… we—"

They all turned their heads when they heard the back door open and watched Carlisle dart past the living room and into his office without saying a word.

Esme followed and knocked on the door and cracked it open.

"Carlisle?"

Her eyes quickly scanned the room, her gaze sliding across his empty chair.

She found him standing in front of the large wall of windows.

"Esme, I'm certain Alice knows this already, but will you please tell Jasper that Edward and Bella are going to Alaska and there is no need for them to leave."

Esme came in, closed the door and leaned against it. "What happened?"

Indeed. What had happened?

He'd been expecting to hear Edward confess to adultery at the least, perhaps ask his forgiveness and beg him not to blame Alice, to seek his advice on how to repair his relationship with Bella.

What had Edward hoped to gain by reminding him about his own adulterous behavior or by touching him in a sensual manner?

A distraction from the truth?

"God help me, where did I go wrong with him?" Carlisle whispered to himself.

Esme crossed the room, stood next to him and repeated. "What happened?"

"He lied to me, Esme."

* * *

Bella crept through the front door of the cottage and saw Edward stomping what was left of their sofa and kicking the pieces against the wall.

She rushed toward him. "Edward! What are you doing?"

He approached her, laying his hands on her shoulders. "Bella, I'm so sorry."

She lifted an eyebrow at him. "It's all right. I'll ask Esme where I can buy another one to match the chairs."

"Not about the sofa." Edward frowned briefly and shook his head. "Carlisle is making me— us – go to Alaska."

Now Bella frowned. "For how long?"

Edward sighed. "Undetermined."

"A week? A month?"

"I don't know, Bella," he growled.

"He won't tell you how long he expects us to stay away?"

Edward struggled against venting his annoyance.

"I don't think Carlisle has given any thought as to the amount of time I'm—we're—to spend with Tanya and her family.

"How could he not—"

But that's not the worst part." Edward squeezed Bella's shoulders. "Reneesme is to stay behind."

* * *

Carlisle pressed 'end' on his cell phone after having spoken with the medical director about a short leave of absence to deal with the family emergency.

He slipped his phone in the front pocket of his trousers.

He had not taken the time to retrieve a new shirt from his closet and was still wearing only an undershirt.

He glanced down along his bandaged left arm, from mid-humerus to his fingertips.

Perhaps Jasper might have some idea regarding how long the healing process might take.

He certainly could not perform all his medical duties while bandaged and wearing a sling—suturing patients with one hand would most certainly draw unwanted attention to him.

A whisper of steps moving across the floor and a subtle shift in air pressure alerted him to someone approaching his office.

He glanced up and saw Bella gliding into his office.

She looked angry.

"Why are you punishing us?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Alice slept with my husband, but you're punishing him… me… why not her? Why not Jasper?"

"Bella, Jasper is the reason that I'm sending Edward to Alaska."

"Why not send Jasper? He's the one who's out of control. Not Edward."

She quickly disregarded the image of Edward jumping up and down in the middle of the remains of their decimated sofa.

"I thought that you and Edward would benefit from some time away from the family. Just the two of you."

Bella's eyes darkened and she narrowed them at Carlisle.

"Yes, Edward said that you won't let Reneesme leave with us, but if you think you can keep me from taking my daughter with me you're wrong."

She slapped her palm against the top of Carlisle's desk twice to emphasize exactly how wrong he was.

Carlisle wrinkled his brow. "Bella, Esme and I would never forcibly keep Reneesme from you."

She slid her palm off the desk and stood up straight. "But Edward said—"

"Edward misunderstood."

_He lied._

She lowered her gaze and chewed on her bottom lip.

"Bella, I apologize if you think that I've overstepped my bounds. However, I am the head of this household and my first duty is to see to the protection, the well-being, and the happiness of my family—all the members, not just Edward."

* * *

Bella walked at human speed on her way back to the cottage and replayed Carlisle's parting words in her mind:

_"My hope is that you will accompany Edward to Alaska so that together you may work on strengthening the bond of your marriage. I feel Reneesme's presence might distract you from that end." _

Bella found Edward in their bedroom, on his hands and knees, pulling suitcases from beneath the bed.

She took in a deep breath.

"I'm not going with you."

He looked up at her from the floor and gave her an uncertain grin.

"What? You have to."

"No." She shook her head. "I don't. And I won't."

"But Carlisle—"

"It wasn't a demand. He only assumed that I would be going with you."

Edward slid the last suitcase on top of the bed, stood up and approached Bella, leaning his face down to hers.

He smiled.

"Love, you're my wife. You have to come with me."

She pushed away from Edward before he could ensnare her with one of his searing kisses.

"No. I need time away from you to … to clear my head… to sort through this… this mess you and Alice created."

She glared at his slightly amused expresion and huffed. "Alice, Edward?"

Why couldn't it have been Rosalie, the sex siren?

She could understand him falling prey to that, but everybody's-little-sister Alice?

Her best friend?

She clenched her fists to discourage the sudden and overwhelming need to yank out every last strand of perfectly sculpted bronze hair from his head.

"How would you feel if I slept with Jasper? Or Emmett? Or Jacob?"

She felt a stab of satisfaction when his eyes narrowed ever so slightly at Jacob's name.

"You wouldn't. You love me too much."

Her eyes widened briefly and she sat down hard in one of the chairs in their bedroom and bent over like she was going to be sick all over the carpet.

Her shoulders shook and he heard her gasping.

Edward quickly crouched down next to her. "Love, what is it?"

"I just realized that you don't love me enough," she squeaked out between her sobs.

* * *

Edward walked into the garage carrying a suitcase in each hand, a duffel bag bouncing against his right hip, and wearing his backpack.

Emmett shook his head at Edward. "You really think Carlisle's going to make you stay in Alaska that long?"

Edward ignored him and looked at Esme. "Where is Carlisle?"

_Oh, Edward. I've never seen him so disappointed._

Esme popped the trunk. "He asked me to drive you."

She opened the driver's side door and slipped into the Mercedes, closing the door.

Edward raised his eyebrows at Emmett as he opened the passenger side door.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders and grinned at him. "I'm just along for the ride."

_I begged him to come see you off but… _

Edward's chest heaved as he listened to Esme remembering Carlisle's words: _Esme, I am so repulsed by what Edward has done that I cannot bear to look at him._

* * *

He spent most of the car ride in silence, listening to Esme and Emmett's thoughts.

Emmett's mind was preoccupied with his part in the brawl.

He was crowing over the memory of having successfully pinned down Jasper and gloating over the fact that after all these years he'd finally stumbled upon Jasper's weak point: overwhelming rage.

And when Emmett wasn't turning over this piece of information in his mind weighing the pros and cons of provoking such a response in Jasper the next time they sparred,

he was picturing various sex acts with Rosalie, which would then lead his thoughts to stray into the memory of Emmett walking in on him making love to Alice.

At first Esme had guarded her thoughts.

But the long miles, no matter how fast they were eating them up, still meant it was going to take them several hours to reach Denali and none of them—save for Bella because of her shielding ability—could block him for that length of

time. Esme's mind was swimming with questions.

What was he thinking? Why would he do that to Alice? She thought he and Alice were close. Why would he hurt her like that?

Was Bella withholding sex from him? Were they having marital problems?

Should she speak with Bella and convince her to join Edward in Denali or was it best that they spend some time apart? Absence makes the heart grow fonder…

What had Edward told Carlisle that had unsettled him so?

Edward rubbed his temples. "Esme, will you please turn on the radio?"

He knew the music would not block out everything Esme and Emmett were thinking, but he needed something to distract him.

Until he could be alone with his own thoughts.

And work out how he and Alice could be together.

* * *

**A/N: Hope that wasn't too boring for those of you who thrive on uber-drama (ahem...Fruit Fly.)**

**I struggle with not wanting to spell out every little thing and not wanting to lead the reader by the hand, but some of the feedback ****I've received (much appreciated too!) made me realize that, sometimes,**

**you have to be blatantly obvious to get the point across, so I'm working on it. Just let me know if I start dragging you by the hand and pointing though, okay?**

**I also want to say that I am surprised no one flamed me for Chapter 14 and I loved reading all your comments. I like throwing curve balls so expect some more in the following chapters.**

**I want to thank Fruit Fly for, once again, giving me an excellent idea for one of the later chapters (will definitely point that out in A/N when I get to it) and for being my sounding board and for listening to me whine**

**when I spend all day writing a chapter and at the end of the day ****I realize the chapter bores me and I'm going to have to pretty much start from scratch. (Yes, Ch 15 I'm talking about you.)**


	16. Complications

**A/N: I hope this chapter comes off as more than merely "filler".**

**Complications**

Emmett shoved his hands in his front pockets. "I don't know what else you want me to say, Jasper. He looked lost. Like a little lost puppy."

Jasper made a disgusted sound.

That's not what he had wanted to hear.

He wanted to hear that Edward had been angry, upset, indignant.

That he had acted like the spoiled, self-centered, selfish ass that he knew he could be.

Not that he had looked pathetic.

* * *

"What is that wonderful aroma?"

Reneesme looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes at Carlisle.

Then she grinned.

"Blood pudding, want some?"

Carlisle smiled and shook his head.

He stood at the counter next to Reneesme and picked up the butter knife.

He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Mmm… a butterfly."

He quickly cut away at the pancake until it resembled a butterfly.

"Flower."

"Lady Bug."

"Windmill."

Carlisle chuckled. "Windmill? Where did that one come from?"

"I read Frankenstein last night."

"Yes, I remember devouring that one as well. The year it was published."

Reneesme bumped his arm with her shoulder and grinned. She poured more batter onto the skillet.

"I bet it was a whole different reading experience back then. Before modern technology and DNA—"

She heard the knife clatter against the counter, followed by the sound of Carlisle's hand slamming down and cracking the marble.

She glanced in time to see him darting from the kitchen.

"Carlisle?"

Reneesme pushed open the bedroom door and saw him standing by the bed hunched over.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." The metal footboard creaked, warped then snapped in his grip.

"I'll go get Esme."

"No!"

The force of Carlisle's voice rooted Reneesme to the spot.

"I hadn't anticipated feeling any pain as part of the healing process. It took me by surprise, that's all."

"Should I get Rosalie?"

He shook his head. "No, it's—"

Rosalie's voice interrupted him. "Nessie, are you trying to burn down the house?"

Reneesme's eyes widened. She'd left the skillet on the burner.

Rosalie appeared in the doorway, took a cursory look at Carlisle and said, "What's wrong?"

* * *

Esme held Bella and stroked her hair as she sobbed against her shoulder.

The cottage was a mess.

The sofa lay in ruins next to one wall. Picture frames broken. Shattered glass strewn about like sparkling confetti. Art ripped in halves and fourths. Books torn to pieces.

She saw that Bella had destroyed Edward's entire vinyl collection. He wasn't going to be too happy about that since most of the records were original issue.

She'd also shredded her wedding dress—the one Alice had designed—and had shoved that, along with all the wedding photographs into the fireplace.

But she hadn't lit it.

"I hate her! She must have seen this happening! Why…" Bella wailed and shook in Esme's arms.

"Bella, you don't still believe Alice was a willing participant."

Bella took a step back from Esme. "How could she not be, Esme? She would have seen what he wanted. She would have stopped him!"

"Bella, Edward is still bigger and stronger than Alice," Esme pointed out, remembering how easily Charles could hold her down with just one arm.

She felt an emptiness and sorrow knowing her sweet Edward had committed that despicable act against Alice.

Bella glared at Esme. "But Emmett was home! He would have heard her struggling…fighting against Edward. Surely she was screaming her head off if Edward was raping her like everybody else in this family wants to believe."

"Bella, no one wants to believe Edward capable of—"

"Instead, she waited until she knew Jasper wasn't going to be around. She put all sorts of thoughts into his head. Like she did when Jasper was in Alaska."

* * *

Rosalie forced Carlisle to sit down, not liking the fact that his face looked dull gray instead of their normal pale, lustrous hue.

Or the fact that his smile, meant to be re-assuring, was forced.

Or that his eyes were completely black.

He looked at her; let his gaze flick momentarily to Reneesme. "Rosalie, I said I'm fine."

She glanced back at the twisted and broken footboard and arched her eyebrow at him: Don't lie to me.

"I just need a moment. Why don't you take Reneesme back to the kitchen."

"I'm not hungry anymore," Reneesme said the worry evident on her face.

"Reneesme, you know Esme likes a tidy home. What is she going to say when she comes home to the unpleasant smell of burned pancakes and sees her kitchen in disarray?"

Reneesme chewed on her lip then nodded and left Carlisle with Rosalie.

"Carlisle—"

"Rosalie, please," he hissed and she saw a slight tremble move through his body, "go."

She pressed her lips together, intent on defying him, but he held her gaze until she felt compelled to look away. "Fine. But only for a minute and I'm bringing Jasper back with me."

Carlisle waited until the door clicked closed then slid from the chair to his knees and placed his forehead against the carpeted floor.

* * *

Jasper watched Alice moving pillows around on the new bed and greedily drank in her contentment.

He grinned at the intermittent pin pricks of bother when the result was not exactly right.

"I love you."

"I know."

"Oh you do, do you?"

He laughed as her mischievousness tickled him and watched her arrange and re-arrange three small rectangular pillows with a speed that reminded him of street hustlers sliding cups.

She glanced over her shoulder and gave him an impish smile. "But that doesn't meant I don't like hearing it."

Jasper launched out of his chair and was kneeling on the bed behind Alice.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed up her neck.

"What about feeling it?" He sent out small, escalating pulses of lust at her.

_Alice, it's you._

_It's always been you._

_I want—I __need__—for you to feel my love for you._

_If I had Jasper's power I could make you love me too._

Anxiety-panic-dread surged at him.

He let go of Alice and sat back on his heels. "I'm sorry."

She twisted around on her knees to face him. "For what?"

"I understand… if it's too soon…"

She cupped his face in her hands. "Don't be silly."

She leaned down and kissed him, but he could feel she was trying too hard. Forcing it.

"Alice…"

Forcing him.

"Alice, stop."

Her grip on his hair tightened.

* * *

The look on Esme's face was confused. "Bella, I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"I am talking about Alice making sexual advances—seducing Edward… when Jasper was in Alaska."

"I see." Esme sat down in a chair and patted the arm of the matching chair.

Bella sat down.

"Did Edward tell you this?"

Bella nodded.

_Esme, he lied to me._

"And did Edward also tell you that I walked in on the two of them?"

"Yes."

Bella looked down, unable to meet Esme's gaze, embarrassed for Edward because she knew how much he prided himself on his restraint and his control.

"And that both of them told me nothing had happened?"

Bella's eyes flicked up to meet Esme's.

* * *

"What is this?"

Alice looked up from the house of windows she had been sketching and said, "Just something I saw," not wanting to tell Esme she had seen all of them living there.

"No, this." Esme touched the fading mark on her neck.

Alice covered it with her hand. "Oh… I guess Jasper got a little boisterous."

Esme sat down next to her at the kitchen table. "Sweetie, Jasper's been in Alaska four days now."

"Yes, I know." She smiled at Esme.

"Then you should also know it takes only hours for a love bite to heal."

Alice looked down at her sketch. "Oh."

"Jasper didn't bite you, did he?"

Alice shook her head.

"Edward."

"Don't blame him. I let him kiss me."

"Why would you?"

"We were experimenting—"

"Excuse me?" Esme's eyebrows shot up.

"Oh, no. Not like that. With our abilities. Edward made the decision to kiss me, I had the vision, and he saw it in his mind."

"I still don't understand how a vision causes a bite mark."

"Well, Edward wanted to compare the vision he saw in his mind with the real thing so I let him kiss me. But when I stopped him… I guess… he…wasn't…ready… to stop?"

Alice looked at Esme's incredulous expression and said, "It didn't sound so stupid at the time."

* * *

Bella pressed her lips together.

The thought of Edward giving anyone except her a love bite, no matter how many years ago it had happened, angered her.

Unreasonably and possessively so.

But it all made perfect sense to her now: the way he had held himself in check while she was still human, only kissing her briefly and she had to beg him for that much contact.

And even after she had been turned, he still wouldn't give all of himself over to her when they made love.

What had Alice done to him?

* * *

He felt her stubborn determination build until her resolve became a controlling need to dominate her fear and anxiety and then him.

He shoved her off his lap and scrambled away trying to distance himself from those emotions. He stared at her from the foot of the bed, eyes wide and black, breathing heavily.

Jasper held up his arm when she saw her lean forward to move toward him. "Wait. Just…give me a minute."

Alice sat back on her feet. "Jasper, what's wrong? What did I do wrong?"

He felt her hurt and worry and anxiety spiral toward him.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I over-reacted."

"To what? What did I do to you?"

Now he felt a heavy sadness, regret, elevated worry and anxiety, slight anger.

"Nothing. I promise you."

He motioned for her to come to him.

She sat next to him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

* * *

He felt suddenly weak as if he hadn't fed in weeks or months.

Like he'd felt when he'd first ascertained what had happened to him and had refused to succumb to the siren song of blood thrumming through the throng of people in the city and give legitimacy to the monster he had become.

In the end, he had simply run away and hid in the forest, foolishly believing that by starving himself he could achieve death.

But all he'd accomplished by his refusal to feed was to sap his strength until he became too weak to do much but crouch down next to a tree.

He couldn't sleep so all he could do was think. And he thought: _Surely I have died and this is Hell._

Then God stepped in and His hand directed a herd of deer across his path.

Close enough that even in his debilitated state he was able to lunge forward and grasp one, hanging on like a drowning man clinging to a life preserver.

_Do you think that human blood might help you heal more quickly?_

Sharp, tight burning pain scored its way up his arm and Carlisle dug his fingers into the thick carpet. He hissed. The carpet ripped.

Reneesme swung open the door. "I put a bunch of fresh fl—" She saw Carlisle on the floor and screamed, "Rosalie!"

* * *

"I have him." Rosalie shoved Emmett's outstretched arm away, trusting only herself to be gentle with Carlisle as she helped him up from the floor and seated him in a chair.

"Thank you, Rosalie."

Jasper studied Carlisle's eyes. "When was the last time you hunted?"

"Three days ago." Carlisle plucked the fastener from the gauze and unwound it. His arm was covered with slick venom.

He looked up at Jasper. "Is this an indication that the wound is healing properly?" _Or am I losing venom through my damaged skin?_

Alice gasped. Her eyes glazed over. She blinked and stared at Carlisle. She squeezed Jasper's hand to let him know she was fine.

He looked away from her slowly as he answered Carlisle. "I'm not sure."

Rosalie exhaled through her nose.

Jasper absorbed her annoyance and gave her an irritated look of his own. "I didn't see it often." _Not to this extent. _"Maria had no tolerance for weakness. You fought and you won or you were destroyed."

"But she made exceptions," Carlisle said.

"No."

Rosalie crossed her arms and smirked. "If that's true then how do you know about burns at all?"

"Have you heard the expression _to be raked over the coals_?"

They all nodded.

"When Maria was particularly displeased with us, she would have our limbs torn from our bodies and literally raked back and forth across a bank of coals."

"Jesus," Emmett said.

"Then she'd starve us and those who healed were given a second chance."

"How many—"

"Not many," Jasper interrupted. "My suggestion is that you feed daily."

* * *

Edward slipped in the back door, hoping to avoid anyone, but Tanya was there. She was always there.

He tried to push past her, but she blocked him.

"Where've you been, Edward?" _Why is he wearing sunglasses?_

"Hunting. And because I happen to like them."

"For three days?" _He's probably lying and doesn't want me to see it in his eyes. God, I hope he didn't run home to spy on that little psychic. I told Carlisle I'd watch out for him..._

Edward clenched his jaw and his nostrils flared. "I said I was hunting and I was hunting. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to call my wife."

* * *

**A/N: I apologize for the slow progression of the story line. I promise you we're not on the "scenic route"....I do have a destination in mind, but I need to lay the groundwork so the conclusion is not rushed.**

**I wasn't particularly happy with how I ended the Bella-Esme scene so if any of you have comments or suggestions I'm open to hearing them even though I've posted the chapter already.**

**As always, thank you for reading.**


	17. Intermediary

**Intermediary**

Rosalie wrinkled her nose at Bella when she walked into the house. "Would you please stop by your place first and at least change clothes before coming over."

Bella sniffed her shirt and tried not to grimace. "It's not that bad."

Emmett grinned at her over the back of the sofa. "Yes it is. You smell rank."

Rosalie curled her lip in disgust. "You've been spending so much time with that dog and his pack you're beginning to smell like one of them."

Reneesme bounded down the stairs. "Mom, Dad called again while you were out and he wants to know why you blocked his number."

Edward had been ringing her cell phone every fifteen minutes over the past four days and loading up her voicemail and text inbox with messages.

The last one she'd listened to had been particularly harsh because Reneesme had told Edward where she'd gone.

To La Push.

"Tell Edw—your father I'm not finished being angry with him yet."

"Okay." Reneesme sped upstairs to her room.

Emmett chuckled. "You blocked Edward? I bet he's throwing one hell of a temper tantrum."

* * *

Edward pressed 'end' on his phone and shoved it in his jeans pocket before he changed his mind and launched it through one of the walls.

What the hell had gotten into Bella? Refusing his calls. Not returning any of his messages. Having the audacity to go to La Push when she knew how he felt about her friendship with Jacob.

He growled long and deep.

Blocking his number...

He yanked the headboard from the frame and threw it at the window. Wood and glass exploded.

And now using Reneesme as an intermediary.

* * *

Carlisle had been sitting at his desk, staring at the plump bag full of clear blood for over two hours, contemplating the ramifications of drinking human blood as a means to heal more quickly.

He rested his hand on top of it, hesitating briefly; then lifted it.

He pressed his lips against the smooth plastic. The expected flood of venom did not come.

He bit into it.

Blood slipped past his lips and he gagged as his careful and meticulous training kicked in and he wrestled against the impulse to withdraw his mouth and expel the blood.

He gave in to his base instinct and swallowed, allowing the heavy sweet viscous fluid to slide down the back of his throat.

His phone vibrated against his hip as he drained the bag.

He pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at his mouth and wiped his chin. "Yes, Edward?"

"Bella won't answer her phone."

"Edward," Carlisle said, "I cannot force Bella to accept your calls."

"Then what is the point of me being here away from my family?"

"The point, Edward, is penance."

He wasn't sorry for his actions. There was nothing to feel sorry about. He sighed his irritation into the phone.

"Edward, count yourself lucky that I have not asked you to leave this family permanently."

"Wha— you..." He stood up and paced the small bedroom. "You would do that?"

He stopped in front of the ruined window and stared outside at the bright white snow as he listened to the silence on the other end of the line.

He desperately wished he could hear Carlisle's thoughts from this distance.

Finally Carlisle said, "No, Edward. I would not."

Edward relaxed his tensed body. "When can I come home?"

"I don't know, Edward. The matter is complicated. I have Alice's feelings to consider and your safety, or course. That is a priority."

Edward clenched his jaw. ""Don't worry about Jasper."

"Edward, have you forgotten how close Jasper was to destroying you? If Bella hadn't—"

"I know," Edward snapped. _Bella and her shield save the day._

He shook his head at himself for the flash of anger he felt toward his wife.

At his lack of gratitude.

But he couldn't help himself. Bella had taken away Alice's chance to save him and to show him and everybody else—Jasper included—that she really did care for him.

That she loved him.

He forced down the anger, the irritation and his impatience and softened his tone. "I'm sorry Carlisle. For everything. I'll stay at the cottage whenever Jasper's at the house."

"Edward, what makes you think you'll be safe from Jasper at the cottage?"

"Alice won't allow anything to happen to me."

Carlisle chuckled softly.

Was Carlisle actually laughing at him?

He imagined the look of amusement on his face as Carlisle asked, "Edward, what makes you think Alice will side with you in this?"

"She already has," he said harshly, frowning. "She tried to stop Jasper. Before you arrived."

"Edward," Carlisle sighed his name. "He will eventually find a way to get around her. You know this."

"So you're the one who can read futures now?" The bitter stinging words shot from his mouth before he could check them.

Silence.

Longer this time.

Then Carlisle's stern voice: "I will not allow you to put yourself in his path. You will not come home. I forbid it."

Edward closed his eyes and attempted to calm himself so he wasn't shouting at Carlisle, his father, his maker, when he next spoke.

"Edward?"

His eyes snapped open. "Yes," he hissed into the phone.

"Edward please," Carlisle's tone was once again serene, "I want you to understand that I am not punishing you."

It certainly felt as if he was being punished. "I have to go." Edward hung up on him.

* * *

Jasper guided Alice to a fallen tree and gently pushed down on her shoulders so she would sit.

He crouched down in front of her, his eyes searching her slack face and her glazed eyes for that subtle change which would signal the end of the vision.

He held her hands in his as a physical anchor, and to reassure himself, since the visions blocked his emotional connection to her.

He watched intently for several minutes until Alice's ringing phone startled him. He fished it out of her front jeans pocket.

"What do you want?" he growled.

"Why are you answering Alice's phone?"

Jasper smashed her phone against the ground.

Alice blinked as everything PRESENT came into focus. Jasper inhaled sharply and closed his eyes as all her emotions washed over him at once.

He squeezed her hands and when he opened his eyes she was smiling brightly at him. "I'm here," she teased him.

Jasper relaxed his grip on her hands and grinned at her. "You were gone for a long time. What did you see?"

She glanced over his right shoulder. "Edward."

His face hardened. Even from Alaska Edward had the ability to insinuate himself between them.

Jasper wanted nothing more than to hand Edward his head in a hand basket and tell him to go to hell.

Alice's eyes flicked to his. "He's making bizarre decisions…none of it makes any sense."

"What kinds of decisions?" Jasper got up from his crouched position and sat on the fallen tree next to Alice.

"I saw him in Volterra…" He felt a quick stab of concern but didn't begrudge Alice that feeling. They had all been sick with worry when Edward went to Volterra to end his existence.

"… drinking human blood—"

"In Volterra?"

Alice shook her head. "I don't think so, because it was happening outside. The Volturi would never allow that."

They both knew Edward had turned his back on the vegetarian lifestyle at one point, but Jasper did not see Edward doing that again, no matter how angry he was with Carlisle for sending him to Alaska.

Jasper thought feeling his victims' emotions had been unbearable. How Edward ever drained even one person while being subjected to their dying thoughts was beyond comprehension.

"I saw Edward, Bella and Reneesme in some state on the east coast… maybe Tennessee or one of the Carolinas? I saw the three of them in Alaska with the Denali clan, at the cottage…at Charlie's?"

Alice furrowed her brow at that last one.

So Edward was trying to decide where to take his family?

"I saw him in a heated argument with Carlisle and…," Jasper felt her unease and moved closer to her, winding his arm around her waist, "… Carlisle was actually shouting in Edward's face."

His surprise engulfed her disbelief. Carlisle was always calm.

Always.

Even when faced with the Volturi and their guard. "Do you think Edward may be planning to join the Volturi?"

"I don't know. I wish I knew…" Sudden alarm raced at him and through him. He saw it mirrored in Alice's eyes.

"What is it?"

"Maria."

Jasper tensed. "What about her?"

"I saw Edward... talking to her."

* * *

**A/N: Thank you to stephycats7785 for suggesting that Edward might find an ally in Maria. Sounds like Edward is ready to fight dirty if he's willing to bring Maria into the mix. **


	18. We Go On

**A/N: For those of you who read the previous chapter before I had the chance to update my A/N I want to thank Stephycats7785**

**for giving me the idea to bring Maria into this story.**

**We Go On**

"_Do you think Edward may be planning to join the Volturi?"_

"_I don't know. I wish I knew…" Sudden alarm raced at him and through him._

_He saw it __mirrored in Alice's eyes._

"_What is it?"_

"_Maria."_

_Jasper tensed. "What about her?"_

_"I saw Edward... talking to her."_

Jasper stood up abruptly but Alice grabbed his arm and firmly said, "No," as an image of Jasper confronting Edward in Alaska flashed through her mind.

He glared at her hand for a moment. "Fine." He slid his phone out of his pocket and dialed Edward.

"Jasper, don't." She reached for the phone but he blocked her with his arm.

"You won't find her if she doesn't want to be found," he said when Edward answered.

"What are you talking a—"

"Maria," Jasper roared into the phone, causing Alice to scoot back from him.

"Oh, Alice saw that, did she? Did she also tell about the vision she saw of the two of us on Esme's I—"

Jasper clicked 'end' and Alice heard the unmistakable sound of the phone popping as he curled his hand into a fist.

"Jasper, don't listen to him. I've never had a vision of me with Edward. Ever."

She reached out and took his hand, interlacing her fingers with his.

"I see us. We go on and on… and on. For eternity." She leaned into his side.

He nodded his head.

He didn't doubt Alice believed that. He could feel the avid intensity of her belief.

But he couldn't quite quell the nagging disquiet he felt.

Maria had never actively searched for him, but he could never rule out the possibility of her catching up with him. That's why he'd gone up North in the first place.

To put distance between himself and Maria and her territory and anyone else who may have known him and held a grudge against him.

His desertion had cost her precious miles and acres of territory and he'd heard that it had taken her decades to gain even a quarter of it back.

"Jazz?"

"Yes, darlin'?"

He heard the near-silent intake of breath at the same time he felt Alice's arousal snake around him.

"I'm—Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I was just thinking about Texas…. Mexico…"

"Her." She tried her best to hide the disappointment and jealousy from him, but he heard it in her voice anyway.

He cupped her face in his hands. "Hey, I thought you said we go on and on. Why are you worrying about ancient history?"

"Because you are."

Maybe Carlisle could talk some sense into Edward. Explain that he did not want to seek out someone like Maria.

If she found out what Alice, Edward, and especially what Bella could do, she'd destroy the rest of the Cullen family just to get her hands on them.

"I think we should talk to Carlisle."

* * *

Alice was the only one who did not appear to have a problem with looking him directly in the eye.

Both Rosalie and Reneesme seemed genuinely frightened by the slight change in his appearance.

Emmett joked about it, telling him that he felt like he was getting the "evil eye", but he sensed a discomfort and edginess from him and from Jasper as well.

Even Esme, his beloved Esme, was unable to hold his gaze for longer than seconds before she was bowing her head.

And when he'd lifted her chin with his fingertips to force her to look at him, to see that it was still him behind the red eyes, she had actually trembled.

"I don't think Edward is that stupid," Carlisle said when Alice told him about her vision.

Both Alice and Jasper were taken aback by Carlisle's uncharacteristic bluntness.

"However, I will call him myself and make him understand that what he's considering is reckless. It puts not only his wife and daughter in danger, but you as well, Alice."

He felt Jasper's anger roll toward him, followed in quick succession by resentment.

Carlisle fixed him with his eyes. "Calm down, Jasper. I have to get Edward's attention somehow."

Jasper clenched his jaw and swallowed the growl in his throat. "I'd like to leave. If that's all right with you."

Carlisle's smile stretched across his face. "Of course, Jasper. No need to ask my permission."

Alice gave Jasper a quizzical look as he backed up toward the door instead of turning and walking out.

* * *

"Let me borrow your phone."

Rosalie eyed Jasper suspiciously. "Why?"

He exhaled. "I want to call Edward."

She turned her attention back to the TV program. "So use your phone."

"I can't."

She smirked at him. "If you've burned his number from memory I can give it to you."

Jasper tried to hold his annoyance at bay, knowing that if even a little of it reached Rosalie there would be an argument. "I smashed my phone. All right?"

"So use Alice's then."

He gave her a pointed look.

"You smashed hers too." Rosalie rolled her eyes but handed over her phone. "Don't break mine."

* * *

Edward yanked his phone from his jeans pocket. "What is it, Rosalie? I'm busy."

"It's Jasper."

Edward halted on the spot. "What do you want?"

"I'm warning you… if you seek out Maria and she finds out what you're capable of, she won't let you go."

"Maybe, but I'm almost certain that Maria is missing you more, _**Major Whitlock**__._"

Jasper growled and Edward laughed because he knew from Jasper's thoughts that Maria called him that only when she had him in her bed.

"I am going to kill you."

Edward laughed at him again. "Alice won't let you."

Silence.

Then Jasper hung up on him.

Edward shook his head and smiled to himself. Jasper was making this too easy. He slipped his phone into his jeans pocket and sprinted at full speed.

* * *

Alice felt rage explode within her the moment Jasper flung open their bedroom door. "Why won't you let me destroy him!"

She sprang to her feet from the sitting position she'd been in while sorting through her shoes and turned to face Jasper.

Her eyes widened and she inadvertently snapped the heel off the shoe she was holding.

"Do you understand how emasculated I feel because you will not allow me to defend your honor?"

Alice bowed her head and said softly, "It's too late for that."

He hardly registered her sorrow, her regret—he was too enraged by Edward's gleeful taunting. And the image of him fucking his wife.

Jasper roared then proceeded to rip apart their new bed, sending broken pieces through the walls and windows.

Carlisle's voice cut through the commotion. "What in the name of God is going on in here?"

"Carlisle, he's upset. He'll be all right in a—"

"Stop this!" Carlisle grabbed Jasper by the shoulders and threw him to the ground.

Alice squeaked and Jasper stared up at Carlisle, stunned.

Carlisle furrowed his brow. "I apologize, Jasper. I don't know what came over me."

He stretched out his arm to offer him a hand up but withdrew it when he saw Jasper flinch.

* * *

He felt the disconnect from Alice even before her palms stopped moving up and down his back.

The vision was brief and when she came out of it he felt overwhelming sadness. "What about Nessie?"

"I wouldn't," he growled, ashamed and annoyed at himself for even considering that he might be able to talk Maria into taking Edward and Bella in exchange for leaving him—and Alice—be.

His guilt engulfed him. "I need to be alone." He got up from the floor and walked toward the window.

He climbed out and dropped to the ground.

* * *

Alice exhaled loud and long.

"What's he up to now?" Emmett asked, not taking his eyes off the TV screen.

"He's thinking about hats," Alice said.

Jasper had been duping her ability by considering all manner of silly things.

Just a moment ago he had been deciding what kind of sombrero to choose for her. That particular vision made her feel uneasy.

Was Jasper actually somewhere near Mexico? Or was he toying with her?

Rosalie rolled her eyes and was silently grateful for Emmett and his up-front, matter-of-fact personality. Sulkiness in a man was unbecoming.

Emmett's sudden laughter boomed. "I'd still like to see what Jasper looks like with a mohawk."

"Babe, he's not going to do it," Rosalie with as much patience as she could muster. For some reason, that particular vision had tickled Emmett and he couldn't let it go.

"Maybe we can buy him one… a wig… for when he gets back." He gave Rosalie a hopeful look.

Rosalie kissed the corner of his mouth and patted his leg. "Okay, we'll go after this show's over."

* * *

Jasper pictured stalking Alice with a handful of snowballs but quickly checked that thought.

He didn't want Alice to catch on to where he was heading, so he brought up the opposite: the scorched, cracked, dusty earth of West Texas.

Then he realized Alice might think he'd gone to Texas and go after him so he randomly chose hats.

But Texas and Mexico were still in the back of his brain so his mind couldn't help but draw up an image of a sombrero.

He grinned at the potential sight of Alice wearing one. Sitting astride a donkey. Pouting.

* * *

"Not on your life," Alice muttered when she saw Jasper planning a trip to the Grand Canyon: one that included the ridiculous notion of both of them riding donkeys and her wearing a tacky sombrero.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, a shorter chapter with some fluff and ending on a silly note. But there really is some key information here as well. (I just hope I the writing wasn't too vague.) **


	19. By Speed or By Subterfuge

**A/N: Holy crap, I didn't have enough blood in my body to bleed out over this chapter!**

**I don't consider this my best work, but I finally had to stop obsessing and post ****it.**

**I hope you disagree with me. :)**

**By Speed or By Subterfuge**

Carlisle swiftly unwound the gauze and stared in amazement. He rolled and twisted his left arm; his eyes drank in the smooth, marble-like perfection.

He felt awed and humbled. Until he glanced at the bag of blood sitting on his desk, sweating as it gained room temperature, and realized that he no longer needed it.

But it did seem shameful to waste it.

* * *

Jasper inhaled the crisp air: Caribou. Big enough, but he wanted a predator. He continued to sample the air as he sprinted. He caught a whiff of wolf.

At first, he didn't want to pursue it— even though he knew without doubt that it was not part human— but the grizzlies were in hibernation, so he gave himself over to the hunt.

* * *

Alice blinked rapidly and glanced down at the collage of images she had drawn onto the bed sheet.

"I should have known," she growled.

She crawled back off the edge of the bed and sped down the stairs. "Carlisle!"

Carlisle heard Alice shout his name so he shoved the depleted donor bag in the bottom drawer of his desk. He would dispose of it properly, later.

He was sliding the drawer shut as she appeared in the doorway. "Yes, Alice, what is it?"

* * *

Edward ran his hand through his hair as he watched Carlisle's name light up on his phone; he was loath to answer it after their last phone conversation and the unprecedented tongue-lashing Carlisle had given him over Maria.

He slid open his phone just before the call went to voicemail. "Yes, Carlisle?"

"Edward, Jasper is on his way to Denali."

Sharp panic stabbed his gut, even though this was what he'd wanted.

"I think," he heard Alice's voice in the background. "I can't be sure yet. And he smashed his phone so I can't…"

"Looks like you were right, he did find a way to slip around Alice," Edward said, tuning out the remainder of what Alice was saying. He turned in a slow circle, his eyes searching the surrounding trees for any hint of movement.

Carlisle did not miss the bitterness in Edward's tone or the underlying meaning: Edward could have been home, with the rest of his family members there to protect him, if Carlisle had allowed it.

Now he was going to have to confront Jasper alone.

"Edward, I'm on my way. I'm leaving now—"

"He has a head-start on you!"

"Edward, I understand your unease, but I will be there to protect you, do you hear me? Stay close to Kate until I arrive. Will you do that for me?"

"Yeah, that's…" _ a good idea. _

"Edward!"

"Yes. Yes, Carlisle. I'll stay close to Kate."

* * *

Carlisle looked at Emmett and said, "Emmett, you're with me."

Rosalie was off the sofa in an instant; she stood in front of Emmett, so close that the back of her shoulder was pressing into his chest. "If Emmett's going, then I'm going."

"And I'm going too," Alice added.

Carlisle answered Rosalie first. "My intention is to intercede on Edward's behalf, Rosalie. Having you there will only detract from that end. You will stay here."

Carlisle softened the stern expression on his face as he turned his attention to Alice next. "Alice, I fear your presence will only serve to elevate the animosity between Jasper and Edward, and may prompt either of them to do something

foolish or irreversible."

They all knew what Carlisle meant, what he feared: that upon seeing Alice, Edward might say or do something rash, something to antagonize Jasper further and send him into a whirlwind of fury of such force that no one or nothing was

going to keep him from destroying Edward this time.

Carlisle only hoped that his and Emmett's combined strength would be enough to hold Jasper at bay until he could talk him down.

* * *

Edward slowed his pace as he neared the house and listened for any thoughts that might belong to Jasper.

In his eagerness to meet Jasper head-on, without any interference from the rest of the family, he'd forgotten to ask Carlisle how much of a lead he had—minutes or hours. Jasper might be lying in wait for him now.

"What the hell is this," Kate hissed when Edward stepped inside the house.

"Human hunters are not welcome here," Elezear said, coming to stand next to Kate.

He'd forgotten about his eyes. "Kate, Elezear, it's not what you—"

"Are you going to tell us you're not drinking human blood and expect us to believe it?" Kate gave him a hard stare.

"No," he glanced around at everyone, "but I didn't kill anyone."

_He doesn't have Carlisle's restraint… _Elezear sniffed. "How is that possible?"

Garrett's eyes widened.

Edward abruptly turned to look at Garrett as he answered his unspoken words. "No-o, I am not creating a newborn army."

He rolled his eyes at Garrett for even suggesting something so absurd. "I drank from donor bags."

"Why?" Tanya asked. She had moved to stand on the opposite side of Kate, to block Edward from coming any farther into the house.

"Because…" Edward sighed and scrubbed his hand through his hair. "I was angry with Carlisle for sending me away _(_w_hen it should have been Jasper) _and I wanted him to think…"

Edward trailed off and glanced at everyone's looks of disapproval. He growled. "I'm not proud of myself, all right? I was angry… hurt. I wanted to hurt Carlisle, and I knew this would do it." He whispered the last part, lowering his head

to complete the effect.

* * *

Jasper halted at the tree-line, because he realized he couldn't just waltz up to the front door and throw down his glove.

You didn't issue a challenge like that anymore. And he doubted Edward was man enough to tell the others to stay out of it when the fighting became deadly.

He heard the front door click before he saw it swing open.

Edward walked out several paces from the house and stopped, and when he craned his head slightly left, Jasper realized too late, that his thoughts had given away his position.

Then, as if to mock him, Edward tossed a dark-blue winter glove in his direction.

Jasper didn't deign to glance down at the glove resting at his feet. Instead, his gaze traveled across the open expanse of bright snow and locked on Edward's self-satisfied expression.

Edward's gloating washed over him, and he let it in. He allowed it to antagonize him. Jasper felt his restraint slipping in direct proportion to Edward's growing glee and when Edward dared to laugh, he charged at him.

Edward took an immediate defensive stance when Jasper appeared in front of him, crouching low and hissing. Jasper felt a spike of pleasure when Edward's cockiness shriveled and fear pulsed at him before Edward could get it under

control. Now it was his turn to smirk. If Edward was capable of it, he was sure he'd be pissing himself.

Edward narrowed his eyes at Jasper's mental remark and growled.

_You don't intimidate me. Those red eyes don't mean anything to me, except that you're a killer._

"Jasper, what are you doing here?" Kate called from the front door.

"It's all right, Kate," Edward said, his eyes trained on Jasper's, listening for any hint that Jasper was about to make his move to attack him.

"No, it's not," Kate continued, "He's not supposed to be here. Carlisle said—"

"Carlisle's not here!" Edward looked back at her over his shoulder in exasperation. "And I said—"

Jasper lunged forward and snapped at Edward's exposed neck. Edward chided himself for his stupid mistake. He snarled and pushed Jasper away before he could sink in his teeth and rip away the muscle anchoring his head in place.

Jasper flew back several yards but was in position to land on his feet and was speeding toward Edward once his feet connected with the ground.

Edward caught Jasper considering his angle of attack—a last minute dive to cut his legs out from beneath him. He effortlessly jumped out of Jasper's path. Edward had an opportunity to latch onto Jasper's left arm and pull it from its

socket as Jasper sped past him. But he didn't take it. He was still hesitant to commit to grappling with Jasper just yet. He wanted to further test the limits of his new strength.

Edward heard what Jasper was planning next as he rounded on him: he was going to try to get behind him by speed or by subterfuge.

He waited and crouched low as if anticipating a direct frontal assault, and when Jasper was close enough, he spun around, expecting Jasper to appear in front of him.

Instead, he felt a solid kick in the middle of his back, not powerful enough to send him across the yard, but it did knock him to his hands and knees.

* * *

Jasper knew Edward's mind-reading ability inflated Edward's arrogance so he used it against him, turned it into a liability that Edward had failed to grasp just yet.

He'd been leading Edward around by the nose, allowing him to believe that, in the heat of battle, he didn't have complete control over his thoughts.

Jasper bit deeply into the area around Edward's shoulder joint and ran the flat of his tongue across it, to seal it.

Then he backed away from him. He wanted Edward to burn slowly on the inside before he dragged him off and pulled him apart.

* * *

They wrestled, grappled, and crashed into each other for several hours, and Edward was able to inject Jasper with his own venom a handful of times.

But Jasper seemed immune to the burn, even as the venom weeped from the fresh bite marks.

Edward thought Jasper was just putting on his battle face until he didn't catch an errant thought regarding any pain that Jasper should be suffering.

Doubt began to eat away at his conviction that he was going to triumph over Jasper and claim Alice as his.

* * *

Jasper permitted himself a slight grin as he felt confusion swirl around Edward with the intensity of a tornado.

He guessed Edward was probably wondering why the smattering of bite marks he'd been lucky to leave on him weren't having some negative effect.

The venom hurt like hell, the small amount that actually made it inside his tissue upon initial injection. But the pain ebbed as the venom leaked out of the bite.

Edward, having never fought, had no reason to know to seal the wound in order to lock in the venom for maximum debilitating results.

* * *

The dull, pulsating burn in his arms and legs had cancelled out any additional strength the human blood had given him; it even slowed him down and Jasper was able to get in close enough to bite him at least two dozen times total.

He had just failed to move fast enough to dodge Jasper's latest lunge at him. His arms were too congested with venom, too heavy and sluggish to be any use to him to fight off Jasper.

Jasper wrestled him easily to his knees then threw down him onto his stomach. Jasper straddled his back and locked his arms around Edward's neck and head.

"Tactics win a battle_, _always," he hissed into his ear. _Speed, brute strength, and mind-reading do not. _

Jasper heard the whispering sound of someone swiftly approaching him from behind.

Bella had already frustrated his vengeance once; he would not be denied a second time.

He waited until they were close enough before he twisted at the waist and thrust out his hands to push them back.

His eyes flashed wide when he saw who was there.

Kate gripped his forearms.

And released her gift.


	20. Stuck In The Middle Again

**A/N: This chapter is for TheGirlInThePinkScarf. **

**I hope I may be forgiven the slight jog back that was necessary in order to lay down some foundation for what occurs later.**

**I'm not a planner and since I'm discovering this story as I write it, and I'm posting the chapters as I complete them, I don't have the luxury of going back over a fully written first draft and sprinkling in all the details and **

**foreshadowing that pop into my mind several chapters down line!**

**AN AFFAIR OF THE HEART**

**CHAPTER 20**

**Stuck in the Middle Again**

Bella wondered if the vampire mind was capable of coming unraveled because she truly missed being able to shed actual tears.

She could sob, which she was doing right now, which she had been doing a great deal of ever since Edward had practically admitted to her that he didn't love her enough.

She glowered at the antique, porcelain ring box— the one Edward had presented his mother's ring in when he'd proposed properly to her.

She swiped it from her nightstand and was about to throw it at the wall when she heard a light rapping of knuckles against the front door.

"You can come in, Jasper." She slid the box back on top of her nightstand as Jasper approached. He stopped just outside the doorway to the bedroom.

She glanced at him and saw the standard pained expression he wore when surrounded by humans and wondered if it was in response to her feelings. Or to his own.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Bella looked down at her hands, resting on her lap, and shook her head.

The entire family knew Alice was Jasper's sun, that his heart and his soul were hers; that he worshipped the tiny vampire as if she were some goddess. And apparently, so did Edward.

"No one blames you… for attacking Edward… for… for…" Her chin trembled when she thought of Edward holding Alice as intimately as he had held her so many times, and she still didn't believe Alice was completely blameless in this.

Edward would never do what Alice said he'd done.

Bella was in danger of breaking down into another fit of sobbing until hot anger poured into her.

"I wasn't apologizing," Jasper said through clenched teeth.

He had felt an affinity for Bella even before she had become a vampire and a part of their family, even if she had been a clumsy human and had caused the monster in him to come unleashed in front of the entire family.

If he had felt indifference toward her, as he did with most of the humans he encountered on a daily basis, he would have liked Bella simply because Alice adored her.

But he was not here to ask Bella for her forgiveness. He was here because of Alice.

His dark golden eyes bore into hers. "I only wish you had known the circumstances… before you interceded."

Bella hung her head. "Knowing wouldn't have changed my mind," she said softly. Edward was her sun.

* * *

Jasper stopped short at the La Push border and waited for one of the wolves to pick up his scent, but he was standing out in the open and the cloud cover was breaking at intervals, allowing the sunlight to peek through.

He pulled up the collar on his jacket, to his ears, even though he knew it was not going to do much to camouflage the luminescent sparkling radiating off his face. He shoved his hands in his pockets and waited some more,

waited until his impatience to set his plan in motion and his certainty that any one of the wolves would recognize him, pushed him to continue across the border.

* * *

_Leech, twelve o'clock_. Leah's voice screamed in Seth's mind.

Seth lifted his muzzle and sampled the air. _It's a Cullen._

_Bella Bloodsuck— _

_No, the blonde one. Jasper. _

_You phase, find out what he wants. I'll run back to fetch Jacob._

* * *

Jacob had foregone phasing and arrived riding on Leah's back. He hopped down and hurried toward Jasper, who was standing in the shadow of a group of trees.

"Is Nessie all right?"

Jasper carefully dissected Jacob's worry and was relieved when he was able to ascertain it was more akin to a father's concern than that of a lover's distress.

Jasper glanced past Jacob, at Leah and Seth as they both approached—Seth in a pair of cut-off sweats and Leah wearing a thin, cotton dress.

She was twisting her glossy black hair into a braid in a manner that reminded him of the way Maria would do it.

He slowly turned his attention back to Jacob and was about to speak when Leah said, "You're lucky my brother was running ahead of me, leech. I would have dismembered first and asked questions later."

"Leah!" Jacob growled and narrowed his eyes at her.

"I'm just saying, Jacob. He crossed the border. Uninvited."

"Yeah, but he's a Cullen," Seth said, as if that gave him some special privilege.

Leah looked Jasper up and down with a critical eye, and he was unnerved, again, by how like Maria her actions were.

"I don't recall reading any amendment to the treaty giving the Cullens free range of our lands."

Jasper's vampire hearing picked up Leah breathing out, "especially, Queen Leech, Bella Bloodsucker," too low for Jacob or Seth to hear her.

He also felt a short-lived, but intense, piercing jealousy from her when she said Bella's name.

"Leah, shut up! I'm Alpha; I'm taking care of this."

Jasper felt overwhelming exasperation from Jacob and a twinge of hurt then full-blown resentment from Leah in response to Jacob's scolding. Seth looked and felt uneasy.

Jasper smiled at Leah, careful not to show his teeth.

"Of course, I am in the wrong, here. However, it was taking some time for you and your brother to sense me, and I was shining like a beacon out there. I was afraid someone else might see me first."

Jacob gave Leah a smug look and opened his mouth; Jasper interrupted him, to stop him from saying something that might undo his smoothing over of Leah's ruffled fur: "May we speak in private?"

* * *

Bella lashed out her arm and slapped her hand down on her cell phone.

Although she had blocked Edward's number, she still checked the name illuminated on the phone: _**Billy Black**_.

She sat up and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Jacob, what's wrong? Is it Billy? Charlie?"

His light chuckling put her at ease. "Nothing's wrong, Bella. We haven't talked in a few months, so I thought I would check in."

Bella wondered if Reneesme might have confided in Jacob. She felt sick, openly vulnerable and ashamed when she realized Jacob knew.

He knew Edward wasn't perfect.

Bella started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Bella?"

"I'm sorry, Jacob, I can't… I can't speak with you right now." Bella pressed 'end' on her phone.

* * *

Rosalie sped out of the garage and blocked Jacob's path. She wrinkled her nose at him. "What are you doing here, dog?"

He winked at her and said, "Just visiting, Blondie." He nodded at the Cullen house. "Is Bella inside?"

Emmett sauntered out of the garage, wiping his hands on a shop rag.

"No, she's at the cottage."

"Emmett!" Rosalie snapped as Jacob ran off toward the cottage.

"What? It's not as if he couldn't sniff her out."

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at Emmett and his logic. She huffed at him and stomped past him, back inside the garage.

He was grinning widely and his dimples were showing, and she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her melt when confronted by his adorableness.

* * *

Jacob bypassed the front door and tapped on the bedroom window with his index finger. "Bella?"

Bella sat up on the bed and pushed her hair out of her face. She stared through the window at a bare-chested Jacob.

"Aren't you going to let me in?" He gave her a playful smile.

Bella dragged herself from the bed. She opened the window and Jacob sprang up and through it. He landed on his feet in front of her with the grace and poise of an Olympic gymnast.

"You— you ran here?"

"Fastest way to travel." He smiled at her, his teeth achingly white against his smooth, brown skin.

Bella threw herself against Jacob and sobbed into his naked chest.

His smile disappeared and he stroked her hair. "Bella, what is it?"

"Nessie didn't tell you?" she choked out, her cool breath tickling him where it caressed his bare skin.

"She hasn't told me anything, Bella." Jacob ducked down his head to look at her in the eye. "Jasper… he stopped by the rez. He told me you needed a friend."

She knew Jasper was thoughtful, but she had her suspicion that Alice may have had something to do with Jasper coming to see her earlier today and Alice had probably also urged Jasper to seek out Jacob at La Push.

She didn't want any help or any favors or anything else from Alice.

Bella pushed Jacob away from her.

He stumbled back into the nightstand.

The table lamp shattered under his back and the porcelain ring box imploded beneath his hand as he slammed his palm down to steady himself.

Venom flooded into Bella's mouth as the scent of blood misted the air before Jacob's body healed itself.

"Bella!" He gave her a shocked look, as he slowly stood upright.

She turned her back on him, unable to face him. "Jacob, just… please leave." If anything could be said about Jacob, he was a loyal and devoted friend and he had come here as her friend, concerned about her.

But he didn't deserve to be caught in the middle.

Not again.

She felt Jacob's large, warm hands squeeze her shoulders lightly. He rested his chin on top of her head.

He sighed. "Bella, you know I'm not going anywhere, so why don't you stop flexing those vampire muscles and stop kicking me around like I'm a little puppy and tell me what's wrong."

"Alice slept with Edward." The words came out in a rush.

Saying it out loud hurt worse than she imagined it would.

Jacob laughed.

"I can't believe…" Bella shoved off his hands and stepped away from him. She turned around and glared at him. "I can't believe you're laughing! I thought you were my friend!"

His smile disappeared. "You were being serious?"

"The crestfallen look on Bella's face told him she was. He swallowed. "Bella… I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."

But was he really? He knew Edward Cullen was no good for her; that she should have chosen him.

He held his arms open. "Come here."

Bella crossed her arms and chewed on her bottom lip as she walked toward him.

He enveloped her in his arms and rubbed her back. "I'm so, so sorry, Bella."

"It's okay, Jake, you don't have to say that."

"Yes, I do."

She looked up at him and saw he meant it. Bella stood on her toes and leaned up to kiss him, but Jacob pulled his face back from her.

"No." He shook his head. "Not like this."

Bella gave him a confused look. "What— why? Why not?"

"You only want me right now because you feel vulnerable. But when he—"

They both heard her cell phone ringing from somewhere beneath the bed covers.

"If you answer that, I leave."

* * *

**A/N: I'm certain I'm not the only one who's noticed that the last two updates have happened about a month apart. Well, my work schedule has changed, so I have fewer days off now. I also work in an industry that is open 24/7-365 days a year, and I'm lucky if I get to take off 3 of the 7 holidays my company offers. Thanksgiving? Worked that. 12 hrs. Yeah, not fun. But I did get to eat some turkey and stuffing.**

**Anyway, I want to thank TheGirlInThePinkScarf again, for suggesting the idea that I've (barely) touched upon in this chapter. She also gave me a couple of lines of great dialogue, and she's been there for me when I need to sound off on ideas or throw ideas back and forth and to vent when the writing isn't flowing like I think it ought to. :)**

**I pinky-swear promise that I will get back to Jasper and Edward in Ch 21.**

**Thank you for reading and I always enjoy reading feedback and I've been known to use things suggested in reviews. Both TheGirlInThePinkScarf and StephyCats7785 have made comments and/or suggestions that resonated with me, and I've found ways to fold those ideas into this story. So, don't be shy. I'm happy with very little, all I ask is that any criticism be of the constructive variety. **


	21. To Destroy For Those He Loves

**A/N: Yeah, I know.. it's been over two months. I ran up against a towering, blank wall and it took me awhile to scale over it.**

**I didn't go around it because I do things the hard way. :P**

**My intent was to give you a 4,000 word update, but then I said, "Screw it!" and here's close to 2,500 words.**

**An Affair of the Heart**

**Chapter 21**

**To Destroy For Those He Loves**

"_Emmett, you're with me."_

_Rosalie shot off the sofa. She stood in front of Emmett with her chin raised and told Carlisle, "If Emmett's going then I'm going."_

_Carlisle sighed and gave her a patient but stern look. "My intention is to intercede on Edward's behalf, Rosalie. Having you there will only detract from that end. You will stay here."_

Emmett tried not to grin as he followed a very angry Rosalie as she stomped away into the adjoining room.

Once she had put an acceptable amount of distance between them, to let Carlisle and Alice know this conversation was meant for Emmett only, she turned and moved close to him,

so close that her body was almost touching his and she had to crane her head back to scowl up at him.

He reached his arms around her and gently pulled her flush against his body. "Babe—"

"No, Emmett," she snapped at him for his attempt to soothe her. She glared up at him. "You tell Edward I will shred him myself if Jasper hurts you."

Now Emmett did grin. "Babe, I'm indestructible."

Rosalie's scowl deepened. "No, you're not, Emmett… none of us are!"

Emmett knew Rosalie would worry about him endlessly... because she would always see some little boy called Henry when she looked at him.

And because she had seen him at his most vulnerable.

Dying.

Emmett turned his head to the side and spoke to Carlisle in the next room. "We should bring Bella."

Carlisle stepped into view and looked thoughtful as he briefly considered Emmett's words, then he said, "Yes, an excellent suggestion, Emmett."

Emmett's care-free, joking manner often made him and the rest of the family forget Emmett's practical side.

Emmett ran his palms up and down the back of Rosalie's crossed arms. "Better?"

She refused to look up at him and frowned at middle of his chest instead. "I suppose it will have to do."

Emmett grinned. Both Rosalie and Edward shared a nasty, stubborn streak when things didn't go their way, exactly. He leaned down and kissed her pouting lips.

* * *

Bella curled into Jacob's side, and closed her eyes; she listened to the waves crashing below them.

The water was too frigid for diving, so she and Jacob had the top of the cliff to themselves. She let out a sigh of contentment.

"What?" Jacob ran a thick length of her hair through his fingers.

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"Bella," he chuckled, "what's on your mind?"

She smiled and leaned into Jacob. "I was just thinking how peaceful it is here." _Simpler._

Her eyes flashed open when she sensed Jacob shifting. This time she waited until his lips brushed hers before she panicked and stopped him.

"Jacob, I can't…" she trailed off, not wanting to hurt him by telling him that she couldn't do this to Edward.

Jacob retreated without a word, without a sigh, without a growl of annoyance. He simply accepted it and continued to hold her as if she hadn't just rejected him.

And she hated herself for it.

For filling up on all the love and adoration pouring out of Jacob, and for not being able to give back anything more to him than her companionship.

Her phone rang.

Jacob tensed. "Don't answer him."

Bella could hear all the years of disappointment in his voice, the heartbreak, and she felt guilty that she still hadn't told Jacob that she'd blocked Edward's number.

Why hadn't she told him?

"Don't worry," she smiled at Jacob, "it's Carlisle."

* * *

Bella wasn't certain that she was wanted to see Edward.

Not yet.

She was going only because Carlisle had been the one asking.

She was still angry with Edward.

And furious with Alice.

After Jasper's visit that day at the cottage, Bella had been spending all her time with Jacob on the rez, to avoid Alice.

It wasn't until she walked inside the main house, and Esme embraced her, that she realized she had been avoiding the rest of the family as well.

"Bella, we've missed you," Esme said. She stepped back and appraised Bella, giving her a warm smile. "You're looking well."

"She still smells like dog," Rosalie muttered from the sofa.

"Hey, little sister!" Emmett scooped Bella up in a crushing, bear hug.

Lucky for her, she didn't need to breathe.

Emmett twirled her around and around and Bella laughed until a small, tentative voice said, "Bella?"

Bella stopped laughing and slithered down from Emmett's arms, crossing her own. Her back was to Alice, who was standing at the top of the staircase. "Carlisle, I said I didn't want to see her."

Alice stepped down a handful of stairs. "Bella, please—"

"Alice, please go back upstairs until we leave," Carlisle said.

"But I wanted to tell—"

Bella spun around and flew at Alice, easily leaping up and over the banister at mid-level.

She crashed into Alice and pushed her against the wall; then pressed her into it. The sheetrock imploded, dusting them both with a fine white powder.

Bella grabbed Alice by the shoulders and pulled her down onto the stairs.

She clawed at Alice's delicate face; she yanked on her hair; she struck out at her.

Alice held up her arms and shrieked, not in physical pain, but because her sister, her best friend, hated her.

Alice blinked.

Everyone was watching her.

Everyone except for Bella. She was still standing with her back toward Alice.

"Alice," Carlisle said more firmly.

Alice lowered her head. "Yes, Carlisle." She flitted up the stairs.

* * *

Reneesme chewed on her bottom lip.

Her father wasn't picking up her calls or returning them, which had never happened. Ever.

Then she heard Alice whisper an agonized, "Jasper, no!"

She slid off the foot of her bed and walked up the hallway.

She knocked on Alice's door and opened it without waiting. "Is Ed- is my father all right? Because he's not answering me and he always answers me."

Alice's gaze traveled from the phone Reneesme was waving at her, to the panicked expression on Nessie's face and the tears forming in her eyes.

Alice didn't want to lie to her. Edward wasn't destroyed, but he wasn't all right either. "He's busy."

"What is he doing?"

Of course, Nessie wasn't going to let her leave it at that. "Um…"

_(Jasper wrestled Edward to his knees then threw down him onto his stomach. __He straddled Edward's back and locked his arms around his neck and head.) _

"Alice!" Reneesme stomped her foot. "What is Jasper doing to him?"

* * *

Carlisle had out-distanced the both of them because Emmett kept dropping back to check that Bella was still following them.

"C'mon, Bella... stop dragging your feet. I'll race you."

Emmett gave Bella a big, goofy grin and raced off shouting, "Loser has to wear Jasper's mohawk-wig for a week!"

Emmett's playful mood was always infectious. Bella grinned like a fool and took off running.

Soon, they had caught up with Carlisle and the three of them shot through the dense forest, with Bella and Emmett each vying to get in the space directly behind Carlisle.

If Carlisle had not been preoccupied with worry, with wanting to reach Denali swiftly, and with getting to Edward before Jasper did, he would have joined them in their game.

Or, at the very least, he would have attempted to thwart Emmett and Bella by slowing down because it appeared they had come up with some arbitrary rule which prohibited either of them from passing him.

It was good to see Bella smiling.

Carlisle made a mental note to thank Emmett later for coming up with this distraction to prod Bella along.

* * *

Jasper heard the whispering sound of someone swiftly approaching him from behind.

Bella had already frustrated his vengeance once; he would not be denied a second time.

Jasper waited until they were close enough before he twisted at the waist and thrust out his hands to push them back.

His eyes flashed wide when he saw who was there.

He hissed.

Not at Kate, but at himself for not considering that Kate—not Tanya or Garrett, even —would be the one to step in and try to stop him.

He pulled his arms back, but Kate was already on him.

She gripped his forearms and released her gift.

The initial pulse rocked his body and knocked him flat on his back. If he were still human, Kate's touch would have stopped his heart, dead cold, and ended him right there.

Instead, his body stretched out as every muscle fiber within it contracted simultaneously.

It was uncomfortable. And inconvenient.

If Edward had it in him, now would be the time to wrench his head from his body. But Jasper didn't think he had the guts to do it.

* * *

Edward flinched when Kate placed her palm lightly against the middle of his back. "Edward, are you all right?"

"Yes." He nodded and rolled over and sat up, hissing through his teeth as the venom continued to burn within him.

…_. but the boy doesn't have the guts to do it…_

Edward glanced over at Jasper's prone form.

Anger seeped into him.

Although his physical age would always be seventeen, he wasn't a boy. He was a man.

He may not have been forged in violence like Jasper had been, but he did have it in him… to fight… to destroy for those he loved. Battling James and then Victoria and the newborns proved it.

He saw Jasper's hand twitch. "Kate, he's moving."

"Yes, the effect isn't long-lasting. But it doesn't need to be." She gave Edward a cocky grin.

"Kate, you have to hit him again."

She stopped smiling. "Edward, you're not in any immediate danger." He heard Kate's reproving tone echoed in his mind as the others' thoughts rushed at him.

"Kate, you have to! He won't relent… not until he strips my head from my body again."

A chorus of '_again?'_ reverberated in his head.

"Yes," he hissed, answering them all.

Jasper attempted to move his mouth, but his jaw was still locked in rigor. _You yellow-bellied coward! Why don't you tell Kate… and Tanya… and the rest of them what you did to Alice…why I am going to shred you?_

Edward's gaze flicked past Kate; he locked eyes with Tanya. "He was going to burn me… in my own fireplace."

He looked at Kate again. "He used his gift to manipulate Emmett."

He made brief eye contact with each of them as he said, "He forced Emmett hold me. He'll do the same to you."

His gaze stopped on Tanya. "He won't stop… not until he destroys me."

"Kate, you should listen to him," Tanya said. "We all know how deadly Jasper could be if he wanted to be."

…_if he was provoked… _Kate narrowed her eyes at Edward. "What did you do, Edward?"

"What?" Edward shot Kate an incredulous look. "What do you mean, what did I do? You saw him! He was attacking me. "

"Jasper isn't the type of man to fight without a reason."

"Oh, what the hell do you know!" Edward snarled at Kate. "I've lived with him under the same roof for over sixty years…. I think I know him better than you do!"

Everyone's eyes widened at Edward's aggressive outburst.

Garrett moved in closer until he was standing at Kate's side, even though he was certain that her gift would protect her if Edward did the unthinkable and attacked her.

"It's the human blood, "Elezear whispered to the others.

Edward stalked toward Elezear. "No, it is not! He," Edward pointed, indicating Jasper, but did not turn to look at him, "doesn't deserve to have her!"

"Who?" Elezear asked. _Bella? …Has Jasper wooed—_

"Alice," Edward hissed.

He appeared next to Jasper and crouched down. "She was falling in love with me. Until you interfered… with your gift. You influenced her feelings so she would think that she was still in love with you!"

_No, Alice is with me because she chooses to be._

Edward wrapped both his hands around Jasper's throat. "Stop. Lying!"

Jasper gripped the front of Edward's neck with one hand and used his other to push off from the ground into a standing position, bringing Edward up with him.

He snaked his arm around the back of Edward's neck and pulled Edward's head until his cheek was resting against his chest. "Alice was waiting for me in that diner. Not you. ME."

Edward pushed up on Jasper's lower jaw with the heel of his hand, forcibly shutting Jasper's mouth with a cracking sound before Jasper could bite into him.

He squirmed from Jasper's embrace, but Jasper latched onto his right wrist with his hand, used his other to grasp the spot above Edward's elbow, and he pulled.

Edward howled then hissed. Jasper had wrenched off his right arm.

Jasper tossed it aside and hissed back at Edward. Then he charged at him.

Tanya ran at Jasper, collided into his side, and knocked him off target. Jasper kicked at her with his boot heel, hoping to send her flying away from him before—

Too late.

Jasper felt Tanya's grip on the back of his knee at the exact moment his body sprawled out, rigid, in the snow.

Edward stood at his head, looking down at him. His right arm was back in place but he was rotating his shoulder as if he were limbering up for some physical exercise.

* * *

"Edward… No-o! No-o! No-o! No-oo!"

Alice registered that somebody was shaking her as everything became PRESENT. Her eyes focused.

She pushed Reneesme back and snatched up Nessie's phone from the floor, where Nessie must have dropped it when she had attempted to shake Alice from her vision.

Alice didn't bother with one-key dialing. Not knowing which number Nessie had assigned to Carlisle's phone, it was quicker to key in his full number.

"Yes, Renees—"

"Carlisle, you have to hurry," Alice wailed. "I saw Edward burning Jasper's head!"

* * *

**ooo... WTF! You waited two and a half months for a freakin' cliff-hanger?!**

**Please don't be exasperated with me, I have some scaffolding nailed together and stashed away in the corner. ****In the *unlikely* event that I am confronted with another towering wall of blankness... I'm prepared. :)**

**But foremost, I hope you enjoyed reading the chapter. (I'm off to see the Wizard... oh, wait... sorry.. I'm off to write the next installment.)**


	22. Changing Mental Landscape

**A/N: Here's the next bit...**

**An Affair Of The Heart**

**CHAPTER 22**

**Changing Mental Landscape**

Carlisle sprinted faster, not taking the time to urge either Emmett or Bella to keep up. He pressed '2' on his phone but Edward did not answer. Carlisle slowed his speed until he was certain that Bella and Emmett could hear him.

"Bella, see if Edward will answer you," Carlisle called back over his shoulder before he dug in his heels and zipped ahead of them, out of view.

"Whoa," was all Emmett said. And they thought Edward was the fast one. What else was Carlisle holding back from them?

Bella pressed '1'.

"Edward, whatever it is Alice saw you doing… don't... just don't do it. Carlisle, Emmett, and I are on our way. Please call me back when you get this. I love you."

Bella shoved her phone into her back pocket and raced to catch up with Carlisle.

"Do you think Carlisle would be open for a sparring match when we get back?" Emmett asked.

Bella shook her head and rolled her eyes at Emmett. Carlisle was too dignified to engage in anything violent.

* * *

They all watched as Edward crouched down and pulled off Jasper's head. And before any of them could react, he raced inside the house with it.

Edward lobbed Jasper's head at the firestove where it landed with a heavy thunk. He shoved in three, thick segments of cut wood and looked around for a lighter or some matches.

"Oh my God, Edward. That isn't funny," Tanya said, walking around him.

Edward grabbed Tanya's arms as she reached forward to pluck Jasper's decapitated head from the firestove and pushed her into Kate and Garrett. The three of them slid back into Carmen and Elezear.

"Where are the matches," he growled at them.

"He's serious," Garrett said.

* * *

"Rose, Rose, Rose, Rose," Alice cried, flying down the stairs with Reneesme following her.

"What is it," Rosalie sighed, tossing her magazine aside. The annoyed expression on her face softened when she saw how distraught Alice was.

"You have to drive." She pitched the keys to her Porsche at Rosalie. "And Nessie, you have to keep calling Edward… until he answers you."

Rosalie watched Alice zip past her and outside. Both she and Nessie followed her to the garage.

Reneesme frowned. "Where am I going to sit? In the trunk?"

"You can sit on my lap," Alice said. "Hurry!"

"But Alice, you're smaller than—"

"I don't care who sits where!" Alice shrieked.

She got out of the car and gestured for Reneesme to get in.

"We have to go! Now, now, now, now!" She shoved Nessie into the passenger's seat and climbed onto her lap.

* * *

Carlisle broke through the trees and into the clearing surrounding the Denali clan's home.

His attention was immediately drawn to Jasper's headless body and then to Edward's cell phone, laying in the snow, blinking, indicating he had an incoming call.

Carlisle moved to pick up the phone, to answer it, but raised voices coming from inside the house prompted him to rush in that direction.

He flew through the front door and saw Kate had Edward backed against a wall.

Edward was holding Jasper's head in the bend of his left arm and brandishing a short log of wood at Kate with the other.

Carlisle saw that Kate was attempting to get in closer to Edward, and each time Edward would shove her back with the firelog, using it to keep her from touching him.

Carlisled placed his right hand on Kate's shoulder. "Kate, please allow me."

Kate retreated to Garrett's side.

Edward glanced at Carlisle's left hand and arm. His glove and winter coat covered them from view, but Edward could tell that the bandages were gone.

He looked up.

Carlisle locked eyes with him.

Red on red.

Edward felt his hackles rise, but he continued to stare into Carlisle's eyes.

_My son, what have you done?_

"Nothing more than you have. I can see you that you changed your mind about my suggestion."

_Ah,the donor blood, but why?_

"I was protecting myself, but Kate… she wants to give Jasper his head back so he can attack me again."

"That's a bald-faced lie!" Garrett shouted. "Edward wanted to set Jasper's head ablaze in the firestove. There was no reasoning with him."

_Edward, is this true?_

"What if it is? Look at what he's done to me." Edward dropped the firelog and tore off his ruined shirt to display the bite marks Jasper had given to him.

"Like you said to me when I wanted to come home, Jasper found a way around Alice; what makes you think he couldn't get past Kate's gift as well?

"She wouldn't even hit him the second time I'd asked. Jasper had to tear off my arm first before she would help me.

"But this," Edward held up Jasper's head in both hands," ...this ensures he will never harm me again, and isn't that what you want, Carlisle? For me to be safe?"

"Of course, Edward, but not like this. Jasper is family."

"But I'm your son."

"As is Jasper."

Edward shook his head. As far as he was concerned, he was Carlisle's one, true son. Emmett was more like a son-in-law.

And Jasper was an unwelcome houseguest.

_Think about what destroying Jasper will do to Alice. How can you even consider putting Alice through the pain of losing her mate, Edward?_

Edward pressed his hands together, wanting Jasper's head to implode and crumble, even though he knew it would not.

"Do you remember what it felt like… being with Rosalie intimately?"

Carlisle closed his eyes as he heard Tanya, Kate, and Carmen gasp. _Edward, what purpose does dredging up past indiscretions in front of everyone serve?_

"Your thoughts were different then. More…vigorous. I didn't understand what had caused the change in your mental landscape.

"Not until Rosalie slipped up.

"She had failed to notice that I'd arrived home from school… her mind was too preoccupied with what the two of you had done in her bedroom the previous day while Esme was out.

"I remember Rosalie was quite impressed with your love-making ."

Edward's eyes switched to Emmett's. He had walked inside and from the look on his face, he had been hearing everything Edward was saying to Carlisle.

_Goddamn you, Edward…_ Emmett punched the doorframe with the heel of his hand and knocked the door off one of its hinges as he slammed it.

* * *

Emmett pulled out his cell phone and pressed '1'.

Rosalie fished her cell phone from her jacket pocket. "Emmett, is Jasper all right?"

"You fucked Carlise?" Emmett whispered into the phone, not wanting Bella to overhear him.

"No! What are you talking about?"

"Before me… before you found me. Why the hell didn't you tell me?"

Rosalie narrowed her eyes. "You never told me about the women you had sex with before I found you."

"I would have… I will, if you ask me."

"No, I don't want to know." Rosalie shifted her phone to her left ear. "That's why I never said anything about…"

Rosalie glanced at Alice and Nessie, both of them staring at her, each with her mouth forming a small 'o'.

"Em, we can talk about this later. I'm in the car with Alice and Nessie."

"Damnit, sorry babe, I didn't know."

"We're on our way to Alaska because Alice saw Edward setting Jasper's head on fire."

"No, he hasn't. At least, not yet. Carlisle's in there talking to him now, trying to get Edward to hand over Jasper's head. I should check on Bella. I left her to watch over the rest of Jasper. I love you."

"Me too." Rosalie shoved her phone in her pocket. "Emmett said—"

"Yeah, we heard what Emmett said," Alice said.

The tension in her body had eased with the news that Carlisle had arrived and was speaking with Edward.

A small smile lingered on her lips at the additional tid-bit of information Emmett had leaked.

"Will the two of you stop gawking at me? It was a long time ago and it didn't mean anything."

* * *

As Esme pulled the Mercedes into the garage, she noticed that Alice's Porsche was gone.

She decided she'd wait and ask Rosalie or Reneesme where Alice had gone before she would jump to any conclusions and worry over nothing. Most likely, Alice had gone shopping.

Esme walked around to the passenger's side and plucked the large, ceramic vase from the seat. She cradled the piece in her arms like a baby and made her way inside the house.

The drive to Peninsula College wasn't a long one, and the arts professor was a lovely, young man, but Esme would have preferred to have had her own kiln.

She'd even drawn up blueprints to have a full-size one built. However, Carlisle had told her he didn't think it was wise to build what he said was essentially a a "fire-room".

Normally one to compromise, (Carlisle had given her his view on her plans to have a small fireplace included with Edward's and Bella's cottage. She had insisted it would make the place seem "homier" and Carlisle had said nothing more

on the subject.) he would not acquiesce and allow her to bring a smaller kiln into their home.

Now, with the recent events and the animosity between Jasper and Edward, Esme was glad for Carlisle obstinance regarding the matter.

"Rosalie, where has Alice gone?" she asked as she placed the vase on the round table near the entrance and contemplated the flower arrangment she would like to see.

Perhaps Rosalie had accompanied Alice. "Reneesme?"

"Hello, is anyone home?"

Where was everyone?

* * *

"What's going on in there?" Bella asked as Emmett approached her. "I thought I heard Edward raising his voice."

Emmett saw Bella's jacket draped over the top quarter of Jasper's body.

He grinned. "Was the headless horseman act freaking you out?"

"Maybe." Bella stood up and brushed snow from her jeans.

"Why don't you go in there and see if you can talk some sense into Edward? I'll stay out here… make sure no squirrels pee on Jasper."

Bella shook her head. "What is it with you and squirrels?"

Emmett shrugged. "They look like over-sized rats?"

* * *

"_I remember Rosalie was quite impressed with your love-making."_

Garrett tried to disguise his shocked laugh as a cough. Kate elbowed him as Carlisle turned and said, "I would like to speak with Edward in private, if you don't mind."

"Yes, of course," Kate answered for everyone.

Carlisle waited until Tanya had managed to line up the broken front door and shut it completely.

"Edward," he growled, "what in God's name has come over you?"

Edward hugged Jasper's head to his middle and lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry Carlisle, I didn't mean to reveal your private information in front of Kate and the others. It's just that…"

He glanced up at Carlisle. "Alice makes me feel alive in the same way that Rosalie made you feel. When we made love I swear I could feel my heart beating again."

"Edward, I wasn't in love with Rosalie. I love and will always love Esme. I succumbed to Rosalie once because I foolishly allowed myself to become ensnared by her over-whelming sensuality."

_Do you remember your second year, Edward?_

Edward furrowed his brow and glanced down, unable to look Carlisle in the eye.

"I thought you hated me. I knew that you despised what you had become, what I had done to you. I didn't understand, until after what I had experienced with Rosalie, that you were avoiding me because the blood-lust had abated

"and had left you wanting. You desired me and I'm certain that confused you."

Edward shook off the memory of wanting Carlisle to kiss him, to lay his hands on him, to lay with him from his mind.

"I always thought you chose Rosalie Hale because you were drawn to her."

"I won't deny to you that Rosalie's beauty had caught my eye. Her immiment death caused a great sorrow to well up in me when I saw her lying broken in the filth of the streets.

"Allowing such beauty to fade from this world had seemed like an utter waste, so I made the decision to change her as a companion for you, Edward, not for me.

"I had found my love already, and by the grace of God, I was granted the chance to spend eternity with her ten years after our initial meeting. I wanted the same happiness for you."

"I don't think I love Bella," Edward sighed softly.

"I thought I did. I honestly did becuase I wanted her so badly. Wanting Bella hurt more than watching Alice love Jasper.

"But once Bella became one of us, I slowly came to the sickening conclusion that what I had wanted all along was her blood, and when it wasn't there anymore…"

"Edward, are you certain?"

"Yes. I realize now that I enjoyed walking the along the razor-thin line of control when I was with Bella. At the time, I didn't, but now I see that I must have. What other explanation is there?"

* * *

Bella waited as members of the Denali clan left the house and glided down the wooden steps.

She saw Garrett glance her up and down and she could have sworn she heard him say "Carlisle, you cunning old dog" and snicker until Kate threatened to zap him if he didn't stop it.

Tanya stopped at the bottom of the steps, effectively blocking Bella and said, "Carlisle asked to be left alone with Edward."

Bella raised her chin and narrowed her eyes.

"Carlisle asked me to come along. I don't think he'll mind."

She shoved past Tanya and stopped at the front door when she heard Edward say, "I don't think I love Bella."

_._


	23. I Hate Myself For Loving You

**A/N: Apologies for the long time between updates and the short chapter, but I wanted to post something.**

**Thank you for sticking with the story!**

An Affair of the Heart

Chapter 23

I Hate Myself for Loving You

Wild fury spun around Bella's insides at Edward's words: _I don't think I love Bella._

She yanked open the front door.

It came off its other hinge.

She flew past Carlisle and was standing in front of Edward before the door had dropped on one corner, tilted, and slammed flat against the front porch.

Bella tore Jasper's head from Edward's hands as he uttered a startled, "B-Bella…"

She deposited Jasper's head into Carlisle's hands with a gentleness she did not feel.

She glared at Edward as she said, "Carlisle, I want to talk to Edward. Alone."

"Yes, of course, Bella. I'll be outside if you need anything." Although he was speaking to them both, Carlisle's gaze darted past Bella and his eyes met Edward's.

Carlisle had focused his thoughts on a serene whiteness so Edward waited until he heard Carlisle's footsteps crunching in the snow before he reached for her and said, "Bella, love, I didn't know—"

"I know you didn't know I was here! You wouldn't have been telling the truth if you'd known!"

Bella slapped Edward's out-stretched arms away from her but refrained from pushing him because, as angry as she was, she would have sent him flying through the wall and far into the trees behind the house.

Edward lowered his arms where they hung stiffly at his sides.

Bella noticed the crescent marks on his naked torso. "What happened to you?"

Edward frowned. "Jasper."

Bella reached out her hand; then stopped, hesitating before she brushed her fingertips across one of the bite marks on Edward's chest near his shoulder joint. "Does it hurt?"

He gently removed her hand. "Yes, some."

Edward released Bella's hand and walked past her, to his temporary room, to pull on another shirt because he felt naked and vulnerable and guilty under Bella's sympathetic stare.

Bella followed him and stood behind him as he changed out of his torn and soiled clothes.

"Edward, how could you say something like that to Carlisle? I thought I was your existence. You told me I was your existence. I thought you loved me. In spite of hating me for making you want me—my blood— so badly. I don't understand."

Bella lowered her head and whispered, "What happened? What's changed?"

Edward turned and placed his hand under her chin. He lifted her face to look at him. "Love, you are my life. My existence. My eternity." He rested his forehead against hers and looked her in the eye. "And I do love you."

"But you told Carlisle you loved my blood."

"No, I lusted after your blood." Edward gave her brief grin and moved his lips closer to hers, but she interrupted his intent to kiss her.

"But I heard you tell Carlisle you thought…that, that you didn't love me?"

Edward wound his arms around Bella and clasped her to him tightly. He frowned. "You weren't supposed to hear that. Nobody was. I wasn't speaking from the heart, love. It was just a statement."

She squirmed within his tight embrace . "Of fact?" Bella asked, a trace of bitterness in her voice.

"No." Edward exhaled, aggravated.

She lifted her face from Edward's chest. "Then what, Edward?"

Edward's frown deepened. "It's… complicated."

Bella laid her cheek against Edward's chest again. "You always say that when you're trying to keep something from me."

How was he supposed to tell the woman he loved and had married—the mother of his child— that he was also in love with another, and had been since even before Bella was born?

He didn't want to replace Bella, but he didn't want to give up on Alice either. Could he have both?

"It's Alice, isn't it?" Bella whispered so quietly that Edward would have missed it if he were human.

"Yes."

Bella's head shot up; she took a step back, her hands gripping Edward's forearms and stared at him in astonishment.

"It sounds like her Porsche. "

* * *

Carlisle saw Kate, Tanya, Carmen, and Elezear watching Emmett and Garrett with various expressions of distaste on their faces.

He didn't have to ask why once he'd approached close enough to see that one of them, or both of them, had fashioned a head out of snow and had placed it on Jasper's neck.

Garrett stood up after having drawn a comical expression on the snow-head and Emmett snapped a picture of it with his camera phone. "I can't wait for Jasper to see these," Emmett told Garrett.

"Carlisle, as always, a pleasure to see you," Elezear greeted Carlisle. "Even if the circumstance is quite baffling to me and leaves me speechless."

Elezear glanced from Jasper's head, which Carlisle was holding, and gazed into Carlisle's red eyes briefly. He shuddered and looked away, too polite to ask Carlisle about it.

"Wait, don't put Jasper's head back on just yet," Emmett pleaded when he saw Carlisle.

Carlisle's mouth twitched into a small grin at Emmett's boyish enthusiasm.

He truly wasn't sure how Jasper was going to react once he saw Emmett's pictures of his body with the snow-head attached, but he felt fairly certain he knew what Jasper's first order of business would be if he re-attached his head right away.

So he chose not to.

Carlisle gave Emmett a small nod, which earned him a wide smile and a fist-pump.

Emmett was in the middle of texting Rosalie, asking her to stop by a costume shop to pick up a mohawk-wig, since it would take her too long to turn around and return to the Cullen Mansion for the one sitting atop his closet shelf,

when they heard Alice's Porsche approaching.

"Damn, I didn't know the pixie's lead foot was that heavy," Emmett muttered.

Of course, he should have known, that when it came to Jasper, Alice would have found ways to move moutains and flatten entire forests to get to him.

* * *

"I've got it, I've got it," Nessie snapped but Alice shoved her hand off the doorhandle and threw open the door, then pushed Reneesme, taking her out of the car with her.

Reneesme landed on her feet, none to gracefully, and was forced to stumble forward a few steps to maintain her balance. She glared at everyone, daring them to laugh, but all eyes were trained on Alice as she flew toward Carlisle.

Her feet were so swift that it appeared she was gliding on top of the snow.

Alice let out a little gasp at the sight of Jasper's head, separated from his body. His golden eyes had rolled back, so all that met her gaze was dead whiteness.

A small sob worked its way up her throat at seeing her Jasper this way, so death-like.

She took Jasper's head from Carlisle and cradled it against her breast as she marched toward his body.

"Alice, are you certain this is the wisest decision at this moment?"

The look of fury Alice gave Carlisle over her shoulder silenced any further protest from him.

Emmett and Garrett backed off as Alice approached and kicked the snow-head.

Snow exploded and flew outward as part of the it imploded. Alice shoveled the remaining snow out of the way with her shoe, then crouched down and gently put Jasper's head back in place.

She held Jasper's hand and stroked his hair and watched as his eyes rolled in their sockets… as he became whole again.

* * *

**A/N: I had some excellent suggestions from TheGirlInThePinkScarf but I chose to go this route instead, in an effort to bring some closure to the story this decade. All her ideas would have kept me writing on this story another year or two. Not that that is a bad place to be, from the writer's perspective. However, I suspect it wouldn't be a welcome thing from the readers since this story is going on and on and on.**


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